Hello,
Thank
you for your interest this year’s League of Evil Wizards (LOEWs) convention.
This is just a brief guide to some of the exciting programs and events that we
have scheduled for this year. Pre-registration is not required for the
convention, but it is recommended. Magically erasing the name of your rivals
and placing your name on the guest list is required. Please note that turning
anyone into any type of rodent, amphibian, or other animal will result in high
praise, but immediate removal from the Convention.
-Friday
at 8:30 we will be discussing the ongoing lawsuit between Loews Home
Improvement Stores and the name of our organizations. Our lawyers tell us that
banishment to another dimension is simply not possible, so we will have to work
things out reasonably.
-Friday
at Midnight the Convention Conjurors’ will be putting on a show out in the
stone circle in the forest. This event is 21 and over, so no adolescent genius
wizards.
-Saturday
Morning at 8:00 be up early for our wizarding breakfast and a special talk from
Galinda the Good Witch on how to assemble a new animal from several existing
animals. You may know her from Oz, where her work for the Wicked Witch of the
West (rest her soul) was well known by many.
-Saturday
at 10 we have a special presentation of Time
Travel and You: Don’t go back in time to destroy your enemies because they’ll
just follow you and trap you there. This is a recorded presentation, so
please show up on time.
-Noon
sees us with Potions 101. Included in this will be a special lunch, followed by
a special afternoon hunt in which we try to capture whichever wizard drank the
secret potion and will be currently rampaging in the nearby town as a troll.
-Three
O’clock will be the presentation: Caring
for Your Dragon: The Advantages and Disadvantages of an All-Virgin Diet.
-Dinner
will be free time, so get to know your fellow wizards, or duel them to the
death if you feel necessary. There will also be a special bus that will take
you directly into town so you can witness the aftermath of troll attacks, or
steal some souvenirs from the kids.
-After
dinner we will either an extra special presentation of How to Kill Your Nemesis in The Most Creative Way Possible or Don’t Kidnap Your Nemesis on Thursday then
wait until Saturday Night to Kill Him. It could go either way.
The cost
for this year’s LOEWs Convention is either three gold pouches, the blood of a
Leprechaun, or a Dragon’s Egg. To register, please place payment in a circle of
fire, sprinkle with some fairy dust, and say the enchantment on the enclosed
card.
We look
forward to seeing you this year.
Sincerely,
Pathar
the Malevolent
Director,
LOEWs Convention ‘12
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