Name: John Falstaff
Occupation: Fat Knight, drinker, advisor, drinker, boaster, drinker.
The Rundown: One of William Shakespeare’s most famous creations, Sir John Falstaff the Fat Knight is a drunkard who appears in three of his plays. This is one of the first recurring characters that actually necessitated a sequel, so think about that the next time you complain about yet another sequel is hitting theaters (Shakespeare did it). Vain and boastful, John Falstaff actually provided sage advice, and his death off stage was mourned heavily in Henry the V. (That means this guy is featured in four of Shakespeare’s plays. That makes him the Tony Stark of the Shakespeare Universe.) I have included him on this list because he is one of my favorite characters in all of literature.
Why Wouldn’t He Be Elected Today: Dude loved the drink and loved the ladies. He wouldn’t apologize or try to hide scandals, he’d revel in them.