Name: John
Falstaff
Occupation: Fat
Knight, drinker, advisor, drinker, boaster, drinker.
The Rundown: One
of William Shakespeare’s most famous creations, Sir John Falstaff the Fat
Knight is a drunkard who appears in three of his plays. This is one of the
first recurring characters that actually necessitated a sequel, so think about
that the next time you complain about yet another sequel is hitting theaters
(Shakespeare did it). Vain and boastful, John Falstaff actually provided sage
advice, and his death off stage was mourned heavily in Henry the V. (That means this guy is featured in four of
Shakespeare’s plays. That makes him the Tony Stark of the Shakespeare
Universe.) I have included him on this list because he is one of my favorite
characters in all of literature.
Why Wouldn’t He Be
Elected Today: Dude loved the drink and loved the ladies. He wouldn’t
apologize or try to hide scandals, he’d revel in them.
Be your true self and people will love you. If Tiger Woods owned his lustful ways, he'd still be on top of his game. I think candidates should realize this
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