All content in this blog is ©2012 Bad Shakespeare, especially all jokes pertaining to George Clooney and the upcoming human/machine war. These two things are closely related, but I will not tell you how until a future post, hopefully before the human/machine/George Clooney war. The names have been changed when it amuses me. If you see anyone mentioned in this blog that you believe is you and it offends you then I assure you that it’s someone else. If it flatters you, then enjoy the flattering portrayal. Any other resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental. Any resemblance to giant fighting robots and/or Cloverfield Monsters would be pretty awesome.
All of the opinions expressed in this blog are 100% the opinions of the writer, and do not reflect the views expressed by Mr. William Shakespeare or the aforementioned cyborg king, George Clooney. The only real interaction I’ve had with George Clooney is that one time I talked to him in a bar and he said, “for the last time, kid, I’m not George Clooney, stop talking to me.” If you are offended, then I’m obviously doing my job. If you are not offended, then please let me know and I will try harder.
Side effects to reading this blog may include: increased awareness of William Shakespeare, bouts of both laughter and sadness, hair loss, brief spontaneous combustion, and a strong desire to run outside and sing “Tell Her About it” at the top of your lungs at 2 a.m. It is not recommended you do this and Bad Shakespeare is not responsible for any arrests or complaints. Also, you may start setting off metal detectors in airports. Allow for extra time to board your plane. Please do not read while operating heavy machinery. If you do feel the need read while operating heavy machinery, please use extreme caution and wear knee pads and bring an umbrella.
No part of this blog may be reprinted without the express written consent of the writer, William Shakespeare, or Major League Baseball. I really got screwed in that deal. It may not be copied by any known technology or any technology that has yet to be invented. This includes but is not limited to: direct downloading into the brain, Google Glasses, written on stone tables (after the human/machine/George Clooney war), translated into Canadian Goose Language, or Inception.
Thank you for taking the time to read Bad Shakespeare.