All content in this blog is ©2012 Bad Shakespeare,
especially all jokes pertaining to George Clooney and the upcoming human/machine
war. These two things are closely related, but I will not tell you how until a
future post, hopefully before the human/machine/George Clooney war. The names have been changed when it amuses me.
If you see anyone mentioned in this blog that you believe is you and it offends
you then I assure you that it’s someone else. If it flatters you, then enjoy
the flattering portrayal. Any other resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.
Any resemblance to giant fighting robots and/or Cloverfield Monsters would be
pretty awesome.
All
of the opinions expressed in this blog are 100% the opinions of the writer, and
do not reflect the views expressed by Mr. William Shakespeare or the
aforementioned cyborg king, George Clooney. The only real interaction I’ve had
with George Clooney is that one time I talked to him in a bar and he said, “for
the last time, kid, I’m not George Clooney, stop talking to me.” If you are
offended, then I’m obviously doing my job. If you are not offended, then please
let me know and I will try harder.
Side
effects to reading this blog may include: increased awareness of William
Shakespeare, bouts of both laughter and sadness, hair loss, brief spontaneous combustion,
and a strong desire to run outside and sing “Tell Her About it” at the top of
your lungs at 2 a.m. It is not recommended you do this and Bad Shakespeare is
not responsible for any arrests or complaints. Also, you
may start setting off metal detectors in airports. Allow for extra time to
board your plane. Please do not read while operating heavy machinery. If you do
feel the need read while operating heavy machinery, please use extreme caution
and wear knee pads and bring an umbrella.
No
part of this blog may be reprinted without the express written consent of the
writer, William Shakespeare, or Major League Baseball. I really got screwed in
that deal. It may not be copied by any known technology or any technology that
has yet to be invented. This includes but is not limited to: direct downloading
into the brain, Google Glasses, written on stone tables (after the human/machine/George
Clooney war), translated into Canadian Goose Language, or Inception.
Thank
you for taking the time to read Bad Shakespeare.
you are welcome, Sir!
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