Well, it’s
that time of year. The Christmas Decorations are either down or staying up
until they become a glorious reminder of Easter. Holiday Sales are slowly
morphing into a reminder that Valentine’s Day is the next Holiday you have to
look forward to, and that doesn’t come with days off. Star
Wars: The Force Awakens has blessed our screens and will continue to do so
up until Episode VIII at this point. And sadly, movies switch from their high
profile Oscar bait to… well, let’s just say, “the rest.”
Yes, it’s
time for Good Bad Movie Season, and our Protector over this particular season,
St. Nicolas Cage. For who knows better than how to make a bad movie better than
the King of all bad movies, Nicolas Cage. And I say that affectionately. He is
the King, in so many ways.
Prestige
Season is always a little bittersweet for me. On the one hand, a lot of good
movies come out. On the other, I tend to avoid them so I can give you a fresh
perspective during the Oscar Movie Marathon coming up in February, and yes, Bad
Shakespeare and Crew will be there in all of our glory. So I don’t have a lot
of superlatives. Hunger Games was a
little disappointing. Star Wars was
amazing. So was Creed. Spectre was
pretty cool, if you like throwbacks and thought experiments where the movie
that was being parodied stole from the parody. Crimson Peak was chock full of Tom Hiddleston and ghostly goodness.
And Jessica Chastain totally nailed the fourteen or so movies she was in.
Anyway, it
is time once again for us to bow our heads and say a little prayer to St.
Nicolas Cage so he blesses us with a good Good Bad Movie season, and I have to
tell you, it looks awesome, between Deadpool,
Batman v. Superman, and Kung Fu Panda. But, time will tell, as
it holds us over between our last awesome movie, and Captain America: Civil War.
Let’s
begin.
Bless us oh, Cage,
For these they gifts
we are about to receive
Including straight
from the page
Of Pride and
Prejudice… and Zombies
Let us not forget
about Pandas so Jolly
That will be hilarious
and you
Will help us laugh at
his folly
As we enjoy the antics
of a Panda doing Kung Fu
After his last movie
In which he was
replaced with a fool
Ryan Reynolds will
gift us
With the character of
Deadpool
One is faster than a
speeding bullet
The other is dressed
like a bat
But together they’ll
fight
Batman v. Superman is
where it’s at
We’re also gifted with
a few Oscar Holdovers
Leo fights bears in
the Revenant
The Finest Hours has
us looking for cover
With those Ride Along
2 can join us--- Cage sent
Let us not forget the
other movies that have been dumped
Zac Effron and Robert
DeNiro
The theater we will
jump
And Jane Got a Gun…
moved from twenty one zero
There will be movies
for Adults Young
With the Allegiant and
Fifth Wave
And London will Fall in
a sequel to be hung
And with a new city
for Gerard Butler to save
There’s also Zootopia
But don’t ask Whiskey
Tango Foxtrot
It’s an animated
hoopla
The other is with Tina
Fey – she’s hot.
Tom Hiddleston will
sing with a country twang
The Huntsman will war,
without Snow White
The Rings will scare
us with tooth and fang
And Melissa McCarthy
is the Boss – A comedy out of sight
There are so many
others, I can’t fit in here
But Cage bless those
with the power you send
As I go off to get
more beer
And may this Good Bad
Movie Season can wrap up… Amen.
There you
go! Your thrice annual reminder that I’m not really a poet, but I enjoy myself.
How many of those movies will I end up getting to? Hopefully a good chunk, so I
can report back before… SUMMER MOVIE SEASON gets into full swing! We’re only
four months away!
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