This past weekend movie came out entitled: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, based
on a novel. There was also a musical that came out called Bloody, Bloody Andrew
Jackson that tells his story in rock musical form. The idea of this is sheer
brilliance. Take an established figure and just add some monsters or some
strange contemporary thing. Half the work is done for you! It takes Historical
Fiction to a brand new level. In this case you just really have a guy fighting
Vampires in a stovepipe hat. And let’s face it: Everything is cooler in a
stovepipe hat.
In the
spirit of this, I’ve developed several ideas for more Historical Fiction
stories that are just aching to be told.
-George Washington and the Real Ghostbusters.
Following his first term in office, George Washington must team up with a group
of Ghostbusters to take down the ghost of Benedict Arnold.
-Benjamin Franklin vs. Zombies. He uses
his kite and key to raise the dead, then challenges them to a drinking challenge
across all of the newly formed United States’ bars. Obviously, Ben wins.
-The Adventures of William Taft: Space Ranger.
William Taft is taken into space to save us from an alien invasion.
-Theodore Roosevelt: Gun for Hire.
Because why not? Maybe he could hunt ghosts. I don’ t know. He’s a cool guy.
-Thomas Jefferson and the Deathly Hallows.
In order to beat Lord Voldemort, Thomas Jefferson and his two friends must
travel across America to find the 7… you know, this one may have been done
already.
-Andrew Jackson vs. a Wild Rampaging Bear.
This one isn’t a story so much as just an event I would have liked to have
seen. Apparently he was a pretty tough guy.
-JFK vs. the Moon Men. Why do you think
he wanted to go there so badly? We give him a space ray gun, maybe fix his hair
a little.
-Richard Nixon’s Action Force Five! Think
of the spinoff potential! Think of the action figures! This one practically
markets itself!
-Elvis Presley vs. Everyone. Do I need to
explain why this works, people? He could get a time machine, and prove once and
for all, he’s the king.
All
these ideas are script ready. Feel free to call anytime, Hollywood.
I'm thinking a musical featuring the lesser known Presidents would be a smash. Chester A. Arthur, Rutherford B. Hayes, and Millard Fillmore would all have songs about why no one remembers them. A brash Andrew Jackson would swoop in and mock them. It would be as amazing as Assassins.
ReplyDelete