Michael Keaton in a Bikini is a Different Story

               Last Monday, I announced that I was doing a media experiment: I will attempt to see how long I can go without discovering who won the recent election between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, and then report the results. I’ve been asked some questions regarding this, and I figured I’d answer them here so everyone can see the answers. Plus, I didn’t really lay out the “rules” last time, so this might help.

              

                Q. Are you making a political statement?

                A. No. This is a statement on the immediacy of the news we receive. A lot of this honestly is born out of the Olympic coverage. We live in a time when where it was possible to watch any event as it happened. But NBC chose to put on events at odd times and “spoiled” live events. (Thus really, really destroying what is meant by the term “spoiler.”) Realistically, this should be the most covered news story in America, provided Kim Kardashian doesn’t get married again or tweets a picture of herself in a bikini.

                Q. Does this mean you’re not going to vote?

                A. No. I’ll be voting. That’s my right as an American. Who I’ll be voting for is a mystery, shrouded in a cloud and if you think you know who I’m voting for, you’re probably wrong. But I've not actually made up my mind about who I’m voting for, unless Kim Kardashian tweets another picture of herself in a bikini.

                Q. What are you trying to prove?

                A. I’m not trying to “prove” anything. I’m trying to take a look at the immediacy in which we want news, and the extent we’ll go to get it. The Presidential election should be a huge story… the biggest in America, and rightfully so. But plenty of non-football fans don’t know who won the Superbowl, and that’s pretty big. If you don’t care about actors then what use are the Oscars? But President? That’s the leader of us. You should know who he is. I’m going to see what I have to do to avoid learning his name for as long as possible.

                Q. What do you think you’ll have to do in order to avoid this?

                A. No Facebook, no radio, no newspapers, no online newspapers, changing my home screen, no phone, no notifications, no Twitter (which means less tweets of Kim Kardashian in a bikini), and basically a change in my lifestyle. Bad Shakespeare itself won’t be given live updates about the news while I’m busy not figuring this out.

                Q. You have a Twitter account?

                A. Yep. It’s not under Bad Shakespeare, and mostly it’s to follow comedians. But that has nothing to do with my point.

                Q. So what do you hope to gain from this?

                A. Hopefully, patience and a better understanding of the way media used to work. Back when media had to take time to reach everyone, there was time for “fact checkers” to work. People took time to figure out what was going on, and double checked… well, everything. They didn’t spew out the first thing on their lips because they wanted to be first, people’s lives be damned. Check out Michael Keaton in The Paper. Basically, that.

                Q. No, really, who are you voting for?

                A. Obviously, Kim Kardashian in a bikini.