Chapter 28

Chapter 28

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and other... I’m so glad that you could make it here to witness this momentous event,” Nicolas Cage stood on top of a fake rock outcropping with his arms spread wide.

A lot had happened from the time Kaplan, Evie, Hamlet, and Nathara burst into the bar that turned out to be a front for the ritual. For starters, Nicolas Cage joined them with a reporter and a cameraman who was their to chronicle the filming of Nicolas Cage’s latest movie. Several other cult members, including Elizabeth, joined them as well and started taking their places for the ritual. And the police were barred from the location, and were confused as to what else was going on. 

That was more than enough time for the larger members of the cult to grab the trio and ensure they weren’t going to interfere. They even grabbed Kaplan’s sword, which he felt was kind of rude, and someone else picked up Hamlet by the scruff of his neck which he would soon find out was a big mistake.

What they didn’t know was that Mars, Gabe, and Raph were on their way, amulet in hand, to come attempt to save them. 

The really important thing that none of them knew was that Jacob Whelan, annoyed but recovered from his head injury, was following all of them, and was going to be there shortly as well. 

Kaplan, Evie, and Nathara were going to be a lot happier to see Mars, Gabe, and Raph rather than Jacob Whelan. Hamlet wasn’t going to care, he just wanted the loud noises to stop, and for events to stop ruining his various naps.

“The dawn of a new day is upon us!” Nicolas Cage continued. Alice really wished he hadn’t used just a cliched line. That wasn’t what she wrote. It didn’t matter, she was about to enter this history books as the greatest sacrifice in the world.

“This event is a long time coming! I welcome you all... to Nicolas Cage’s World!” 

Poe, now in the role of the Man... the Woman in the Dark Hood, grabbed the ceremonial torch as everyone looked on: Evie, Kaplan, and Nathara feeling an extreme sense of failure, the members of the Cult now chanting “Cage” rhythmically, and many confused partiers, who didn’t understand why drink service had stopped an Nicolas Cage was giving a speech. But they soon joined in the chanting, thinking it was part of the show.

Bennet had Marty set up a great shot, and was narrating events from off to the side, again thinking that she was just catching the exclusive story about the filming of a new movie. At that point, Marty was starting to suspect that he was trying to catch something even better.

Alice, bound in the ceremonial ropes wearing a very special black and red robe, was hoisted over the fire. The fire had been purified for the third time the way that Jacob Whelan had specified.

Despite the chanting, for the trio sent in to stop everything there was an unearthly silence.

“What do we do?” Evie asked.

“I really don’t know,” Kaplan replied.

It frightened Evie a lot more that Kaplan didn’t have a smart-ass response to her. 

“Well, team, I think we’ve failed,” Nathara responded dryly. “We need a plan, now.”

“We need a miracle,” Kaplan said. He’d even stopped struggling.

“And that’s why I’ve decided not to go through with it,” Nicolas Cage finished. The chanting stopped. Alice let out a muffled profanity through her sacred gag, that was supposed to usher her voice into the new era. Poe, Elizabeth, and the rest of the Cult turned their eyes towards him. The drunk party goers were just sad the chanting stopped.

“Is that your miracle?” Evie asked.

“I’ll take it,” Kaplan responded.

“I’ve been at this taking over the world thing for almost twenty years! I’ve fought Angels, summoned demons, and personally crossed swords with James Franco on several occasions,” Nicolas Cage continued, “Go home. Cut Alice down. I’m disbanding the cult. There’s no point in continuing this.” He sat down on the rock and looked out into the crowd. 

“I’m waiting for the punchline,” Nathara said.

“Worst. Ending to a movie. Ever,” Bennet said under her breath as Marty continued to role. Of course, Marty had noted a while ago that there were no other cameras, and they were very close to living in a Nicolas Cage ruled world with whatever wacky ritual this was.

Unfortunately for Nicolas Cage, who just had a change of heart, there was one who didn’t. Not being bound by things like, “police” or “crowds” or “being hit with a ceramic Santa Claus” Jacob Whelan had made his way in some time ago to watch his crowning moment... a world to take over... take place. After being stabbed, hit in the head, and losing his two Angelic enemies, he was less than happy to come this close only to fail because the person who said he was going to usher in a new era, was going to wuss out this close to the finish line.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. He appeared next to Alice, “We are doing this... NOW”. 

Jacob Whelan extended his arm. Then one single finger. The nail on the finger grew until it was a razor sharp claw. With it, he cut the rope holding Alice.

She plummeted down to the purified fire.