Saturday, November 30, 2013

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Their plan had completely fallen apart. Nicolas Cage sat at the edge of the plateau, having been pushed off by the explosion. His suit was dirty, almost completely destroyed, but he was not a defeated man. He was a strong man.

“Poe!” He stood up, commanding, “Get that amulet! It must be destroyed, you hear me! DESTROYED!”

“I knew you weren’t up for it!” Jacob Whelan said.

Fortunately for Hamlet, there were lots of places the cat could hide underneath various degrees of burning wreckage. Unfortunately for the Cult of Cage members now loyal to a world-saving Nicolas Cage, he couldn’t tell the difference.

A lot of allegiances were shifting all at once. Jacob Whelan was now dedicated to the idea of surviving long enough to set up someone else with the ritual. Mars and Kaplan were dedicated to stopping him. Elizabeth was still undecided, but was set on keeping Evie captive on the top of the plateau with Nathara, who was mentally trying to figure out what she was going to tell people happened to her car. Yuri just did what he was told. And Bennet was just trying to tell a good story about what was going on.

“You’re still rolling, right?” she said.

Marty just handed her the charred remains of the camera. He shrugged slightly, then walked past the burning wreckage of Nathara’s car and out into the open Bourbon Street, where everyone had gathered to try to see what was going on. They were currently getting better footage on their cell phones than what anything Marty could have gotten. Bennet sat down on a loose rock.

“I’m sorry,” Nicolas Cage put his hand on her, “Want to join my cult?”

She kind of did.

Hamlet darted past the bar, amulet still in his teeth, over back towards the fake rocks where there would be more cover, being pursued by several Cult Members and Jacob Whelan himself. Mars stood in the way of Jacob Whelan, sword in hand.

“Hey, about that whole, ‘execute him’ thing?” Jacob Whelan replied, “Let’s just let bygones, and all that.”

Jacob Whelan started past Mars as Hamlet continued his mad dash around the wreckage of the bar. Every time he tried to make it to an opening, he was blocked by another Cult Member trying to get their hands on the amulet and make their Nicolas Cage proud. 

“Let’s just do this,” Mars replied, sword in hand, taking a stance he had seen a million times in the movies. The truth was, Mars never held a real sword before, and it was heavier than he thought. He had a few plastic swords as a kid, but he wasn’t allowed to swing it in the house, and he wasn’t allowed to hit anyone with it. This was probably one of those moments that it was ok to ignore all of those rules.

Jacob Whelan’s face distorted, showing fangs and red eyes that were mostly just slits in his face. His one long finger continued to grow until it was almost sword length itself. He held it in a threatening manner.

Mars glanced over to Kaplan, to see Kaplan had knocked out the Man in the Blue Hoodie and was now headed over to him.

“I guess we’re sort of in this together,” he said. He was holding the long dagger.

“Is that going to actually do anything?” Mars replied.

“Probably not, but it makes me look cool. Very Jedi,” Kaplan replied

The pair turned to see Jacob Whelan coming down on them with his finger sword. Mars instinctively held up his own enchanted sword to block. Kaplan swung the knife-sword with a mighty swing.

There was the clang of metal as it broke. Both men looked down.

“That went about as well as I expected, to be honest with you,” Kaplan replied.

Hamlet darted right and ducked under a fallen beam to escape two more cult members.

“How did those two idiots think two fools like you would ever be able to stop me?” The demon roared. He brought his claws down again, Kaplan moved out of the way while Mars swung his sword to counter.

“What was that amulet thingy?”

“It’s what I used to bring him in this world,” Nicolas Cage replied, having listened, “If you destroy it, you can probably send him back to his own world.”

“What about you?” Kaplan replied, “Why can’t you destroy it?”

“I don’t think that cat will come to me,” Nicolas Cage replied.

“You were mean to him,” Kaplan said.

“I know, I was supposed to invite him to the opening of this club, but Alice left him off the list,” Nicolas Cage replied. He looked over at Alice, who had been thrown clear of the explosion and was laying on the ground, hurt and burned, but still alive. It was actually kind of interesting that no one had died just yet with all of the stuff going around, but the death rate was zero, at least for the next few moments. 

“Who the hell is this cat?” 

“This conversation is fun and all, but can we please get back to the DEMON TRYING TO KILL US?” Mars yelled. 

But it was too late. Jacob Whelan, tired of the bickering back and forth, threw his now mighty hand across the three men, knocking Mars, Kaplan, and Nicolas Cage to the ground. The enchanted sword, the one thing Mars had been using to stop the attacks, went skittering across the floor, now useless.

Jacob Whelan towered over them.


“Oh, Nic, Nic, Nic... I’m going to kill the saviors, then you’re so next.”

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