New Names for the Washington Football Team

Imagine having to face this whenever you lost.

Here in Washington, D.C. a controversy is a-brewin’. 

Well, here in Washington, D.C., controversy is always a-brewin’. I mean, this is the seat of power for the United States, and yet we can’t even have most of our streets go a few miles without a sharp random turn to help with the construction that has been going on since 1982, the Metro is pretty much a joke, and a politician of one party visiting a Hamburger Restaurant for lunch can possibly lead to Congressional Action from the other party. So saying that a controversy is a-brewin’ in this particular area is basically saying, “It’s Tuesday.” 

No, this is a different type of controversy. You see, the football team here currently has an unfortunate name, as well as a very unfortunate record. Many feel that the name is offensive: the Washington Redskins. I’m not much of a football watching person (Go, Sport Teams!) but I have been following the name debate for quite some time now, and watching as it came to a head a few weeks ago when the  U.S. Trademark office cancelled their trademark, thus allowing even more bootleg merchandise from those people that sell things outside the stadium that I’m sure was totally legit.

Quick note, I am aware that some news organizations have stopped using the “Redskins” name. Offensive or not - this is the name for right now. I have my own personal feelings on the name, but this isn’t a piece on that. Also, they say that they’re going to stop using the Redskin name by announcing they won’t be using the Redskin name, thus throwing the name “Redskin” in one more time for good measure, and that’s just kind of wrong. Just like I did now. This is something else entirely. So, until the name changes, I’m going to use it, because it exists, and my personal feeling that words are words, and have the meaning we associate with them. Also, I feel “The Washington Football Team” not dances around the issue too much, and is a bit of a cop-out - if you felt that strongly about it, no matter the market, you’d stop writing about it until the name issue was solved. But, that’s too hard a stance for some people. Also if said wrong, can confuse people into think you’re talking about the Seahawks, and I don’t really have an issue with them. I guess that would be more “The Seattle Team” Again, not a football guy.

In any event, since the Redskins have lost the trademark to their own name, and the writing is basically on the wall that in a few years we’re going to have a new name for “The Washington, D.C. so I’m not talking about the Seattle Washington Seahawks,” I’ve decided to step in and help. As I’ve said repeatedly, I’m not much of a football guy. Most of my sports are Soccer or invented by science-fiction writers (Go, local Quidditch Team!). But I’m pretty creative, and I can come up with names like nobody’s business. So, I’ve decided to lend that help to the Redskin front office, and offer up some different names for the team. 

The Washington, D.C. Seahawks. This one gets that joke out of the way easy. Plus: we can finally get the all Washington Seahawks Superbowl that we’ve been clamoring for since 1974.

D.C. United or Washington Nationals. Jump on the bandwagon of our two teams that actually have the shot of winning the championships or making the playoffs. Then, rather than discussing the name change of our football team for six months, we can focus on the two teams that are both currently second in their respective divisions, rather than the team that finished at the bottom of their division last year because their name is offensive. 

The D.C. Griffins. Robert Griffin backlash hasn’t started just yet after it was was realized he wouldn’t carry the team to the Superbowl after his first year of playing, which is actually good for this area and the revolving door or Quarterbacks. Why not capitalize on this right now?

The Washington Daniel Snyders. If no one thinks that he has this up his sleeve right now, you’re all living in a dream world. There would be backlash, yes, but trust me, there’s a mockup of this right now.

The D.C. Potatoes. I’m still not sure why “Redskin” as a potato isn’t offensive when “Redskin” as a team name, isn’t. Shouldn’t they just call them “Red” Potatoes? I don’t think this would be a good name so much as the idea of changing the logo to a potato is being thrown around, and that idea is kind of stupid. 

The D.C. L’Enfants. What better way to inspire our team into stopping the other team then by naming it after the guy who designed the way D.C. snarls up traffic each and every day? We could have his face on all the helmets as a reminder that you won’t get past our defense. 

The Washington Generals. Nope. Makes too much sense. Plus there’s already a team with that name, and it’s not like owners have money to buy that trademark from them or anything like that.

The Washington Washingtons. Personally, this is perfect. Pretty much change the design of the uniform to a picture of George Washington with his axe, ready to chop down the opposing team. Plus, really distinguishes ourselves from the Seahawks. 

The Fighting Samuel L. Jacksons. Yes, let’s name the team after one of it’s most famous native DCers. DCite? Washingtonian. The logo pretty much creates itself, Samuel L. Jackson would make regular appearances, and it has a lot better ring to it than the Fighting Katherine Heigls, Plus, it worked for Marvel Comics…

The Fighting Andrew Jacksons. Why not name it after our most belligerent President who was known for beating people with canes? Plus... well, it would be kind of fitting...

The Washington Warriors. Again, this one makes sense, so I doubt we’ll see the name thrown out as viable alternative

The Washington Ravens. By this, I mean they all just disband, join other real NFL teams, and we can get the Ravens to play here. I mean, by the second week of playoffs most bars in D.C. have started rooting for the Ravens anyway, because it’s evident that’s the best way of a team within 100 miles of D.C. getting to the Superbowl.

You Gotta Learn About Tom Cruise Sometime, I Guess

Don't drive angry.

Dear Lady Who Brought Your Toddler to See Edge of Tomorrow,

Hello. I was the guy who was sitting in front of you for a good portion of the movie. I did eventually move when you daughter kept kicking the back of the seat an I politely asked you to stop. I know, silly me, I was sitting there prior to you arriving five minutes after the actual movie started and using your cell phone as a flashlight, which made me feel like I was the one who got to sit “where I wanted”. But you insisted on allowing your daughter to kick the back of a stranger’s seat. So I guess that’s it.

To be completely honest with you, I don’t behoove the fact that you brought a toddler to the movies. My new schedule of working afternoons and nights makes it easier for me to attend the movies at different times of the day. In this particular case, I was able to go pretty early in the morning, thus allowing me to be able to get a pretty kickin’ discount. I also realize that as a mother, you may wish to attend a movie and you may not always want to get a babysitter… I totally get bringing her to the movies, and being somewhat respectful enough to bring her to an early showing, when most respectable people are probably at work, and not watching the many ways Tom Cruise can die in one movie. (His best death: Watch Collateral where he plays a hit man  and squares off against Jamie Foxx who’s a cabbie. Great movie. Very underrated. You may or may not want your kid to watch that one. It’s just as violent as Edge of Tomorrow, but has more swearing, so I’m not sure which part is your particular hang up with your kid.)

And you know, I think in this day and age of Tom Cruise marrying women that are 20 years younger than him, it’s probably important to each them about Tom Cruise at a young age. Maybe that’s why you felt a need to bring your child into a movie where aliens jumped out of the ground, or a mostly naked man gets smashed to death with a falling airplane a few times. Between the violence, CGI aliens, and the nudity, there is the underlying message: Tom Cruise exists. And he’s going to go after Emily Blunt, despite the fact that we’d be perfect together. 

Are you a fan of classic cinema? Because, and I know we all know the joke by now, but Edge of Tomorrow shares some similar plot points with a classic Bill Murray romantic romp called Groundhog Day. And while it doesn’t feature, say, a shot of a man being burned alive by a bomb as alien blood oozes over him, it does feature some wacky moments from America’s Wacky Uncle, Bill Murray. Your child may not scream in terror when an alien jumps out from the sand suddenly to kill a random soldier that wasn’t lucky enough to be Tom Cruise, but she may get a kick out of seeing Bill Murray let a groundhog drive a car before plummeting to one of his deaths in that particular movie. I’m just saying.

Of course, by watching at home you may not get the chance to give the evil eye to any one of the 10 of us in the theater that day, and the brave few who let out the ill advised “shhh…” noise any number of times your daughter was afraid of one of those growling, CGI Aliens. 

Edge of Tomorrow can’t be that bad… I mean, it was rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America, which as everyone knows is completely in touch with what’s best for us. It’s not run by a secret cabal of old white dudes that seem to randomly slap ratings on movies, nor are they at all motivated by money and marketability of a movie. Say a movie is a documentary about teenagers. They wouldn’t rate it so that teenagers couldn’t see it due to the “unsavory language” contained within, because think of the children. (Not the ones saying it, mind you, but the ones who might see it and then say it?) 

But hey, I don’ t have kids, yet, so I guess I don’t know when they’re ready for comedically violent deaths accompanied by a ton of violence, and aliens that scare them to the point that hey cry. (Kudos to taking your eyes of the screen for a moment to hug her during this scene.) I’m just saying that when I eventually have kids, I probably might wait until they can form full sentences before I expose them to aliens blowing up. Or people getting shot in the head as a form of comedy. 

And this isn’t against all kids in theaters, as you tried to make it when I politely requested that my seat stop moving. I wasn’t one of the those shushing your during your child’s freakout during one of the more violent battle scenes, no I started to ignore you long before that, right when I moved. No, as an avid movie watcher, I think building a generation of movie goers when quite frankly, going to the movies is being replaced with big screen TV’s, shrinking dates between a movie being on the big screen and being available at home (like Veronica Mars, which I was able to watch at the movies, then at home the next day), and more options in general, is extremely important. But can you understand my point of view that perhaps, at this point, you may be part of the problem? Maybe?

Of course, this probably won’t change your mind. In that case, maybe I’ll see you during the Purge sequel? Or will be be skipping that one in favor of Sin City? You know what, we’ll just keep the date open.

Sincerely, 

The guy that doesn't like getting his seat kicked.

Of 92 Year Old Novels and Starship Captains...

During the 2005 Musical version of The Producers, Matthew Broderick’s timid character, Leo Bloom, asks the question (when deciding whether or not to be a Producer) “When’s  it going to be Bloom’s Day?” Earlier in the movie, a calendar showed that the date was June 16th… the actual Bloom’s Day. It was a little bit of literary fun that Mel Brooks was having, thus showing that a movie that was a comedy, and partly a spoof could actually be smart, as well as funny.

Take that, next parody movie that’s just a string of catchphrases that showed you watch the trailers.

What is it about James Joyce’s Ulysses, an extremely difficult to read novel that still has people reading it - celebrating it - almost worshipping it - 92 years after it was first published? (Published-published… not serialized published. Serialization may have been cool back when Charles Dickens and James Joyce were doing it, but it makes figuring out what the actual publication dates should be difficult. Didn’t they think of English students today when they were doing this? Selfish writers.) 

After all, the Leopold Bloom of Ulysses doesn’t go through the epic journey that Odysseus goes through in the Odyssey, which Ulysses is based on. In fact, he goes through much more mundane “adventures” based on the original story. Also, it’s largely concerned with his wife cheating on him, while most of the plot of the Odyssey features Odysseus’s wife being extremely faithful, despite the fact that Poseidon straight up wants to murder him in the face. Although her final, uber-long, unending monologue seems to accept that fact that she wants to be with him. (some readings of her final monologue that end the day clock in around 3 hours long. In DC this year it’s being done by an opera singer, to relate to the fact that Molly Bloom is, in fact, an opera singer herself.)

Maybe that’s it, though. Maybe it’s the normal adventures of this man that make his life so appealing. While stories of fighting giant cyclops or narrowly avoiding being turned into pigs is exciting for a bit, most of us probably won’t ever experience that. Although once I did punch a guy dressed as Nick Fury at a costume party. Just sayin’. 

Leo Bloom is an everyman. That means it’s easy for us to relate to him. He can tell a story - an epic story - of just one day in his life, and we can relate to some aspect of it, even if we can’t relate to the whole things. Which is good, because I think it’s important for all people to understand that large sections of this novel are largely unreadable. Even places that stage live readings today, on Bloomsday end up taking about 33 hours to finish, and spread it out over a week. A week leading up to today.

Today is a day to celebrate not really the mundane, but the extraordinary within the mundane. Yes, we all have our daily lives we have to get through. And it may not seem it as we are getting yelled at by our eighth boss about that missing TPS report, or as we stand in line in the DMV to be told that we were supposed to get in that other line, or even as we wait in the post office and behold the fact that it’s become more and more obsolete with every passing form of technology (seriously, who would have thought that the mailman would eventually be replaced by robots?). But there’s adventure there. Some kind. Even if it’s picking up something new at the grocery store to try for dinner. Eavesdropping on a conversation as you wait in line. Or just flat out trying to pay attention to the world around you and realizing that it’s a pretty weird place. 

To me, that’s what Joyce was trying to say with what eventually became Bloomsday. And that’s why it’s so important that we continue to be reminded of it. Because if a 92 year old book can pick that up, why can’t we? So, even if you aren’t going to attend one of the many celebrations occurring around the world, even if you aren’t going to put on your finest Edwardian gear… put down the phone, tablet, or whatever… realize that whatever you’re doing can wait a minute.. and look around. You’ll be surprised at what you might see. 

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t also point out that today is something less literary but no less important to nerd culture didn’t occur today, and that is Captain Picard Day. It’s that time of year that all of the children of the Starship Enterprise get together and have projects and such that celebrate the Captain that safely guides them through their little trek through the stars. (See what I did there?) As this was only a one off joke in a late-season episode of The Next Generation, I’m not sure it has as much weight as Bloomsday, or meaning, but it doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate with our finest cup of earl grey tea, or by engaging ourselves in conversation, or just flat out making it so. Maybe take today to re-watch a classic episode of The Next Generation, or that Macbeth that stars Patrick Stewart, or just going to see X-Men: Days of Future Past which is still in theaters. Which also features Patrick Stewart in a much less Captain Picardy role, but does feature him as Professor X, the role he was born to play.

It's important to celebrate this as well today. Partly because it gives us something else to celebrate, and who doesn't love a good celebration. But while I joke around, remember that Bloomsday itself started out not only as a small celebration, but the celebration of something that was in popular culture at the time. Remember, we may say that Ulysses is a classic, but it started out one day as a serialized set of stories - much like Next Generation. (Although Deep Space Nine did serialization much better than any other series, and well before it was cool. But it's Captain Picard Day, not Captain Sisko Day.) That's every other day. In our hearts.) Now it's considered not only a classic novel, but one that has an entire day set aside for it. So, why not celebrate Captain Picard day with the same gusto? Doesn't he have some important lessons to teach us as well about living life well, not wasting a day, and just making it so? It's all pop culture. Because one set of pop culture is "older" doesn't necessarily make it "better." 

      Regardless, spend today celebrating something, even if it's the mundane. 

SOA Fridays: The Supernatural Element

In studying Sons of Anarchy for it’s Hamlet connection, there was one aspect of the show I was wondering how, exactly, I was going to explore. It’s an interesting aspect. Namely, the supernatural element found in Hamlet, and how Sons of Anarchy, a show that isn’t very supernatural (aside from Charlie Hunnam’s magical abs). However, Sutter found an interesting way to incorporate it with the Homeless Woman.

Now, Hamlet isn’t necessarily a supernatural play. It’s actually a play about fathers and sons. (which Sons of Anarchy plays up very well… almost as if they are talking about it in the title itself!) But the whole “hey, there’s a ghost” is actually pretty ambiguous. In the first scene there are three people who see a “ghost” but it’s made pretty clear they’re the night watch and not extremely reliable. In the third act, only Hamlet can see the ghost, and he tells Hamlet pretty much what he’s been wanting to hear from the get-go: kill Claudius. In fact, some productions of Hamlet skip the ghost altogether, and suggest that most of it is in the mind.

It’s important to note here that Shakespeare had no problems in saying when it was time to call in Sam and Dean Winchester to do a little demon slaying. The supernatural drives most of Macbeth, which includes witches, ghosts, a ghost dagger, and an evil cat. (That probably caused most of what happened in the play. Just sayin’.) Midsummer Night’s Dream loves to talk about it’s faeries and other woodland creatures prancing about, mocking us foolish mortals. So I really feel the ambiguity of the ghost in Hamlet is often underplayed by scholars and people who think they know what they’re talking about. 

But back to Sons of Anarchy. In the first season, in an extremely innocuous scene, Gemma is leaving a store when a homeless woman starts talking to her, asking for money. Gemma gives her some, the Homeless Woman responds that she can help her kids in a phrasing that scares Gemma a little. Jax later sees her just before Donna’s funeral, as she has covered him up when he fell asleep at the cemetery. It’s important to note that these two characters are the only ones who have an interaction with the Homeless woman as she pops up, and both of their first interactions with her involve them showing her some kindness. She’ll continue to show up, usually when a big decision had to be made, or when there’s a large shift in power or the status quo. (Abel’s kidnapping in Ireland, before the dogfight rescues…)

So… who is she and what does she represent? Is she even real? Some of her possible backstory is given, that she may have been killed when John Teller’s motorcycle collided with a truck. (given in the sixth season). 

It’s kind of difficult to discuss exactly who she is, not knowing how the series ends, but I don’t want to wait that long to speculate about her. Knowing that she has a connection to the death of JT, which is part of the show dynamic, and when she shows up, makes her an interesting part of the show dynamic. She’s almost a sign, a signifier of things to come. When she shows up, something’s about to change. In the first season, her appearance comes right before Jax decides he’s going to challenge his mother and step-father for what they have done. She shows herself to Gemma in the second season at church, as Gemma needs healing from her rape and before Jax goes Nomad to escape the current regime. She’s in Ireland when Jax decides to let the nice couple keep Abel. She shows up just before Tara’s kidnapping which results in her hand being destroyed. 

It’s very important to note that those last two incidents occur further away from the action. One is in Ireland, the other is on the road to Oregon. And in both instances, it’s only Jax that sees her. So she really does show up in moments when things really are about to change for the Motorcycle club.

It’s also possible she represents some kind of guilt. Her appearances, while coming at a time of change, usually come at a moment when something bigger has happened, something that needs to be aired either for the good of the character, or the good of the club itself. Not always big. 

The show’s creator, Kurt Sutter only has glib responses when asked about the Homeless Woman, and rightfully so. She’s obviously a symbol of something larger, and to be just “told” what she represents takes away what she means.

I’m interested in finding out what she represents in the larger picture, and that can only really be told after the fact, when the show closes out. (possibly with the death of Gemma and Jax. Sorry, kids. It’s going to have to happen.) It’s possible that the last scene of the series is going to be her walking away from all the wreckage. Or maybe she’ll be seen by one of the boys who stands to inherit the Sons of Anarchy gavel from Jax in many, many, years. I’m not sure.

I’m glad that this detail was added to the show, it adds another layer of complexity to a show that can be too easily written off. 

RIP, Maya Angelou

I don’t really “get” poetry all the time.

That’s not to say that I dislike poetry or poetry is bad. It’s just a different type of art form. While I can look at, say, a play, or some other form of prose and pick up that the candlestick introduced on the second page and pick up that by the end it represents the main character’s need to reconnect with their long lost love (it’s a REALLY important candlestick) for some reason my brain is just not wired to always handle poetry in the same way that other people can easily pick it up. I admire those people. To me, poetry is beautiful. 

So, like everyone else that doesn't get poetry, when I was asked politely (re: told) to pick a poet to read about of course I picked Maya Angelou. She was the popular modern poet; she was the one to pick. So I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. (Which I didn’t know at the time is one of the 100 most frequently challenged books… good for Maya.) because of course that’s what you did when you were told to pick a poet and you had no idea and everyone else grabbed Robert Frost. But the book helped me understand. I was able to absorb at least Maya Angelou’s poetry after that.

Sometimes, being part of the English/Literature world, we get the rep of just picking something lazy, but digging deep and finding meaning in things can be difficult. Of course, if you get a good program, it will ask you to branch out, so for someone like me that can read up on Chaucer and laugh at the dirty jokes, loves the dickens out of Dickens, and can quote Shakespearean monologues when I’m trying to make a point, poetry - even the sonnets - frighten me. Maya Angelou took away that fear. She helped me understand.

Maya Angelou was an important figure. Some might say because of her civil rights work, her activism, her comments on race. These are important. But for me it’s kind of personal. For the first time in reading poetry, I was able to really feel something that someone had written. I was able to understand, for the first time, the power of a poem. Hearing her read something, being able to hear the emotion in her voice… that’s wonderful. it’s a power that I never understood until I sat down and I listened to her speak. I don’t even remember where, to be honest, it was probably something in one of my classes I was forced to watch at some point. But it stuck with me.

It also helps that she cites Shakespeare as one of the reasons she started writing. Apparently his voice, spoke to her, and at one point referred to Shakespeare as “a black woman.” :)

The thing is, I can’t speak to all of her work, I haven’t explored it all. I can’t speak to what she meant to history, because honestly… I don’t think she’d care. I can’t speak for her many, many, many other contributions to the conversation of race, poetry, and what she meant to the planet. What I can speak to what she meant to me. A great voice went out today. One that helped this person pick up a poem and start to understand it. She’s important because her writing meant a lot to me. And I think that’s the way she would have wanted it. This may be a bit of a selfish thing, but it’s my blog. I get to do what I want with it.

RIP Maya Angelou. The world’s light is a little bit dimmer today. You will be missed by many, but you will really be missed by this non-poetry fan you converted. 

Your Guide to Summer Fashion!

Whelp, ladies and gentlemen, we are officially past Memorial Day, which means despite the fact that those mean scientists keep telling us that Summer won’t hit for another month, it’s unofficially summer! As the weather changes from Disney’s carefully crafted long-term advertisement for Frozen to the warm weather that will make us all wish we were in Frozen (R.I.P. Olaf. I’ll leave a carrot on the curb for you) every news source and website turns its attention from whatever is happening in the news to the age old debate:

What is appropriate to wear in the workplace during the summer months when the fires of Hell itself scorch the Earth?

Yes, places that bill themselves as legitimate news sources dedicate time and energy to telling people that perhaps they shouldn’t be wearing flip-flops to the office, tell the “younger generation” that they should cover up, helpful ways to dress up but not really dress up, or other helpful “tips” that are either outdated, rehashed, or just plain common sense. Yes, careful reader… you probably should leave the “No fat chicks” shirt at home.

Well, thinking about this, I realized: hey… I’m a source of something. And I don’t have an office job. So I can help, because I’m helpful like that. So here we go, ladies and gentlemen… Bad Shakespeare’s tips for proper dressing for the office this summer.

-I kind of feel that the office weirdo gets left out of most of these articles. Office weirdo, you keep wearing those mismatched sweaters and wildly inappropriate-for-the-weather outfits. Ski parka? Absolutely. Aviator googles and a gladiator helmet in case you hit a personalized wormhole and get sent back in time and have to face off against Roman Gladiators? Absolutely. 

In fact, I would recommend everyone do the last part. Just in case.

-Men of course, are expected most of the time to wear a shirt and tie. The summer really shouldn’t be any excuse to dress down. Remember that there are many combinations of fabrics that should make any shirt light, breezy and easy to wear. There are also many different combinations that will not only help with the weather, but help convey a message.

Rolling up your sleeves, while keeping your arms cool will tell everyone you’re ready to get down to work and get into the weeds of the important project.

Undoing your tie signifies that you have been working long hours… longer than your so-called co-worker who is sitting there in his linen shirt, obviously not working at all. 

Untucking your shirt, unbuttoning the bottom and tying it in a knot exposing your stomach signifies that you’ve shed your winter weight, and you are ready for summer mating.

-Superheroes: We appreciate the time you save by wearing your superhero outfits under your suits, but really, we appreciate it. That bank won’t be saved any faster because you had to change completely. Unless you can control ice. Then to hell with you, you’d better be on duty all the time when we get to August and summer just won’t end.

-Now for my advice for what is appropriate for women to wear to the office. Actually, it’s a message to every other person out there giving women advice on what to wear to the office: Don’t. you’re not going to win this one. If you’re a male blogger/writer/fashion advice guy… unless your first name is “Tim” and your last name is “Gunn”, just don’t. 

-When going to a concert after work, there is some debate if it’s ok to wear the shirt of the concert you’re going to. Some people say, “don’t be that guy, wearing it.” However, I feel it’s important for my co-workers to know that the Dave Mathew Band rocks. The best way to show that is the commemorative shirt I bought for way too much money at the last show I went to.

-Footwear is important. I recommend throwing away all of your shoes in May. Just go barefoot. If you’re working hard enough, your feet are under your desk already, right? It’s not like anyone can see it.

-Also, bathing suits should be worn under every outfit. Not only will this get you in the summer mood, see the Superhero comment: you have the ability to change from boring office to summer sun in a few minutes.

-Speaking of which, if you get sunburned, it’s your duty to wear something that shows off the sunburn as much as possible. This will serve two purposes: 1) it sends the message that you did venture outside, mole-like eyes blinking in the light, and you allowed your precious, precious skin to bake in the late afternoon sun for a few moments. And 2) it allows us to give you advice that we’d never take of the most disgusting stuff you can slather on that skin to help avoid a few hours of pain.

Strawberry Jelly. Trust me. Works like a charm.

-Keep in mind that no matter what you wear to the office, you’re going to offend someone. At some point this summer, it will be hot enough that you’ll show up in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt along with a shiny “What are you going to do about it?” look upon your face. You get two. Use them wisely. 

Very, very wisely. 

Don't Forget Your Towel!

“In the beginning the Universe was created.

This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” 

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

            Don’t panic, everyone… 

Today in Towel Day! And why do we celebrate Towel Day? To celebrate the works of Douglas Adams, writer of, among other things, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and everything that follows it. It’s a great day to be a member of a planet that’s listed in the guide as “Mostly harmless.” 

For those who have not yet read The Hitchhiker’s Guide, I would normally spend this next paragraph telling you all about it. I’m going to do you a favor and I’m not going to do that, rather, I’m just going to say that it involves the destruction of Earth, then a story starts that questions the very nature of existence, why the universe was created, and of course, fish. And let’s not forget the answer to life, the universe and everything (which I’m sure you’re all familiar with) and my basic philosophy: whether or not we are asking the correct question.

Why celebrate Towel Day? It’s a day to celebrate Douglas Adams and what his works mean to us. This was a man that just put his thoughts out there, and let it go. He wrote exactly what he wanted, and it turns out a lot of it wasn’t just instantly quotable, but infinitely repeatable. For me, it was really the first book (or radio show, or mini series, or however you first consumed it) that allowed me to realize that great thinks can sometimes be hidden in unlikely sources. After all, this is a book series that destroys the Earth, names dolphins smarter than humans, has terrible poetry, and references God several times in the strangest ways. 

Then there’s that damn 42 that everyone keeps talking about.

It’s important for us to remember that sometimes wisdom can be found in just about everywhere. It doesn’t have to be some big book dedicated to telling you how to live your life. It can be a TV show, movie, small time blog with an incredibly handsome blogger working behind it, a comic book. I think sometimes we put too much faith in the things that are **supposed** to give us inspiration that we tend to ignore the inspiration that is around us all day. Many of my life lessons can be taken directly from Hitchhiker’s Guide. The biggest of course, is 42.

For those of you who haven’t read it (and I don’t know why you haven’t) 42 is given as the answer to the big, vague question: What is the meaning of it all… the life, universe, everything. And a computer, after a spectacularly long time (7.5 Million years), comes up with the answer 42, and then posits that if you don’t understand the answer, then you’re clearly not asking the right question.

In order to come up with the right question, another computer was built. It was called, “Earth.”

My favorite part of the whole things is that for years, people have speculated as to why he came up with this number. His response is perfect: He knew it had to be a small number, and he settled on 42. No real reason. 

I love this man. 

But while this was a joke given by a man with a strange sense of humor - later books would decide that both The Answer and the Question can never be known in the same Universe - It has gotten me to think about “are we asking the right question?” Everyone spends so much time trying to think about the answer, they don’t come up with the correct question. Sometimes that’s a little harder.

There are a million other parts I can point to that changed my life as a result of this book. From the protagonist, Arthur Dent having to learn to just go with it, no matter how weird things got. (Including Thursdays.) To always remembering your towel when you were hitchhiking… because people would be convinced that you’d just forgot everything else and would help you out. To not panicking… that one is the most important. And the most important, of course, not letting a vogon read you poetry. It’s all there. But the best gift I ever got was this book, with no ideas of what I should think after I’ve read it. I think you should, too, and pull your own thoughts. 

The book changed my life. I put it up there with all the great books, for me at least. It (along with Doctor Who… where is my Doctor Who post… and Star Trek) were my first real ventures into geekdom. This is back when this stuff wasn’t celebrated, people. You’re all walking around with your TARDIS shirts all comfortable, but there was a day that your knowledge of Time Lords and Warp Engines weren’t as celebrated as they are today.

So, speaking of celebration, I think it’s important that we all raise our towels in celebration of the man who was… well, just a man. But a man who was very important to me. A man who’s works have gotten me through the good times and the bad.

Happy Towel Day, Doug.