Friday, April 13, 2012

Of Man Eating Rabbits and the Bard... My Origin Story

So, naturally, I decided to become an English Teacher.
            That’s actually the middle to a very long tale filled with self-doubt, adventure, bad puns, a trip to a magical kingdom, explosions, and at one point a man eating rabbit named “Carl.” I can assure you that it’s actually a very boring story. Beginnings are boring. It’s much more interesting to start smack dab in the middle.
            This is where we’re at right now. Naturally, I’ve decided to become a teacher. I say “naturally” because I’ve always had an affinity for working with kids. I believe this is a result of my own ability to remain youthful at heart. That’s how I refer to it. Others refer to it as my near encyclopedic* knowledge of all things Superman and the fact that I just love a good cartoon on Saturday Mornings.
*Kids, an encyclopedia is like Wikipedia, but printed on paper. Also, it was regularly updated only by people who knew what the hell they were talking about.[citation needed]
            The response to me wanting to become a teacher has been… we’ll say “mixed.” It’s been split firmly into two camps. One the one hand you have “rah-rah!” which is very encouraging. On the other you have the less than enthusiastic and very sarcastic, “you reach for the stars, man.” (You had to hear the guy say this. It was REALLY sarcastic.) But as I’ve often found that following the crowd generally took me places I didn’t really want to go, so I’m not listening to the haters so much as archiving them and playing their words back in my head when I feel like remotivating myself. I figure if everyone approves of what I’m doing, then I’m not doing something right.
            That brings me to the next question you have rattling around your mind canvases, why start a blog about it? And why name it Bad Shakespeare? It’s simple… why not? I like writing. I always seem to have some story that I like sharing about my daily adventures in learning how to teach, and I enjoy writing… why not share my love with everyone. Plus it gives me a chance to brag about how great I am. That's all we really want at the end of the day, to brag about how wonderful we really are.
            As for your second question... is there anything better than truly Bad Shakespeare? Here is the bard, some might call one of the greatest writers of all time, if not the greatest, than the most well-known with the greatest hairstyle/mustache combination in the history of facial hair (the second being Mark Twain, but “Bad Twain” sounds like a country band.) But to watch, read, or see a truly bad Shakespearian production… you have to enjoy that. You have to savor it. You have to soak it in, and think to yourself, “how? How can someone be doing something so epically terrible with words that were created so beautifully and done so well for so many years?” So basically, I’d like you to all soak in these words as we go on this adventure.
Plus, no one has taken the name. Can you believe it? I really thought that “Bad Shakespeare” would be taken like, five minutes after the Internet was invented. Seriously? How was this name not taken? It is practically BEGGING me to take it.
            I hope you will enjoy this little trip into my thoughts, adventures, and just what it takes to be me. I hope to at least keep you entertained. If not, well, there’s still the man eating rabbit you can go visit.


  1. Enjoying it already! Great start! Not saying that because I am your mother...I really mean it! ;)

  2. What about the camp that fears how an evil mastermind like you will warp the minds of your students, turning them into a Dollhouse-esque army awaiting only the proper trigger phrase to enact your diabolical plans?

    1. You're right to be afraid. I've already changed the way your daughter pronounces the letter "A".