Thursday, September 10, 2015

Prestige Movie Season: Bless Us, Oh Hanks

That chill in the air. I guess the chill in the air is an actual reason to sit inside a movie theatre instead of when it’s really nice out and the sun is shining, but there’s just more fun when it’s summer movie season, and the explosions seem louder, and the comedies seem funnier. Unless they’re Vacation. Then there’s nothing funny about it. 

Regardless, Joss Whedon has blessed us with a fruitful Summer Movie Season. And I enjoyed it. Now it’s time to turn down the explosions, make the comedies a little more thoughtful, and prepare for some movie about a war in the stars. It’s the seventh in the series, hopefully it will live up to the Seventh Fast and The Furious movie. Time will tell. Movies get more serious during this, Prestige Season. What do we think is going to get nominated for an Oscar? 

Anyway, bow your heads, and it’s time that we offer up our prayer to Tom Hanks, the Patron Saint of Prestige Season.

Our Tom Hanks
Who art very Prestigious,
Hallowed be thy name
We honor you today as you grant us
A noble Prestige Season.

How will Jennifer Lawrence lighten up a fourth Hunger Games So dark?
Will Jack Black give us Goosebumps?
On history will SPECTRE make it’s mark?
And will Tina Fey make us laugh, or having us sitting like a lump?

We can’t forget the sequels to movies long past
As once again we’ll see VHS’s and Rings
That creepy Girl will have us Aghast.
Is this the last Paranormal Activity we sing?
The fact that it’s the fifth is probably a no.

And let’s not forget Hotel Transylvania 2… Really? A second one? And still not sequel to Serenity? At this point Hollywood is just actively trying to mess with us. R


It is with great pleasure that you bring us the Oscar Bait
Twice the Tom Hardy in Legends is a gift
And you don’t make us wait.
As The Walk will make our spirits just lift

We will get more Hanks in the Bridge of Spies
Eddie Redmayne is a Danish Girl
And By the Sea with Angelina Jolie with some sighs
Let’s not forget Sisters… Probably not Oscar Bait but let’s give it a whirl.

Rocky is back in Creed
Bill Murray Rocks the Kasbah
Pixar fills our November need
For some Good Dinosaur huspta. 

Of course oh Hanks, we can’t ignore the big tome
As Star Wars rises again
And Han and Chewie are once again home
This time without Hayden Christensen. 

The Maze Runner Scorches us with Trials Galore
Everest scales us to new heights 
The Peanuts return, with technology unlike before
And how many old Jokes will the Intern ignite?

Tis this and many others are before us
I didn’t even get to the Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
But it is in you that we trust
That will grants us grant movies

So bless us oh Hanks
As we switch to a completely different kind of movie
And it is to you I give thanks
I managed to work in the word groovy. 

Thanks for joining us for Summer Movie Season, everyone. See you all next year for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Ghostbusters, Captain America: Civil War, and many, many others. Until then, I’m probably going to do a limited Prestige Movie Season review, we’ll see. I know I still enjoy going to the movies. A lot more than I enjoy writing poems. 

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