Prestige Movie Season: Bless Us, Oh Hanks

That chill in the air. I guess the chill in the air is an actual reason to sit inside a movie theatre instead of when it’s really nice out and the sun is shining, but there’s just more fun when it’s summer movie season, and the explosions seem louder, and the comedies seem funnier. Unless they’re Vacation. Then there’s nothing funny about it. 

Regardless, Joss Whedon has blessed us with a fruitful Summer Movie Season. And I enjoyed it. Now it’s time to turn down the explosions, make the comedies a little more thoughtful, and prepare for some movie about a war in the stars. It’s the seventh in the series, hopefully it will live up to the Seventh Fast and The Furious movie. Time will tell. Movies get more serious during this, Prestige Season. What do we think is going to get nominated for an Oscar? 

Anyway, bow your heads, and it’s time that we offer up our prayer to Tom Hanks, the Patron Saint of Prestige Season.

Our Tom Hanks

Who art very Prestigious,

Hallowed be thy name

We honor you today as you grant us

A noble Prestige Season.

How will Jennifer Lawrence lighten up a fourth Hunger Games So dark?

Will Jack Black give us Goosebumps?

On history will SPECTRE make it’s mark?

And will Tina Fey make us laugh, or having us sitting like a lump?

We can’t forget the sequels to movies long past

As once again we’ll see VHS’s and Rings

That creepy Girl will have us Aghast.

Is this the last Paranormal Activity we sing?

The fact that it’s the fifth is probably a no.

And let’s not forget Hotel Transylvania 2… Really? A second one? And still not sequel to Serenity? At this point Hollywood is just actively trying to mess with us. R

*Ahem*

It is with great pleasure that you bring us the Oscar Bait

Twice the Tom Hardy in Legends is a gift

And you don’t make us wait.

As The Walk will make our spirits just lift

We will get more Hanks in the Bridge of Spies

Eddie Redmayne is a Danish Girl

And By the Sea with Angelina Jolie with some sighs

Let’s not forget Sisters… Probably not Oscar Bait but let’s give it a whirl.

Rocky is back in Creed

Bill Murray Rocks the Kasbah

Pixar fills our November need

For some Good Dinosaur huspta. 

Of course oh Hanks, we can’t ignore the big tome

As Star Wars rises again

And Han and Chewie are once again home

This time without Hayden Christensen. 

The Maze Runner Scorches us with Trials Galore

Everest scales us to new heights 

The Peanuts return, with technology unlike before

And how many old Jokes will the Intern ignite?

Tis this and many others are before us

I didn’t even get to the Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

But it is in you that we trust

That will grants us grant movies

So bless us oh Hanks

As we switch to a completely different kind of movie

And it is to you I give thanks

I managed to work in the word groovy. 

Thanks for joining us for Summer Movie Season, everyone. See you all next year for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Ghostbusters, Captain America: Civil War, and many, many others. Until then, I’m probably going to do a limited Prestige Movie Season review, we’ll see. I know I still enjoy going to the movies. A lot more than I enjoy writing poems. 

An Ode to Prestige Season...

The few weeks after Labor Day are the hardest for us movie junkies… er… I mean, enthusiasts. Gone are the flashy big blockbusters of yestermonth, and now we have to sift through the remains of the Labor Day Dumping Ground… because I’m sure your horror movie released in August is going to be pretty good… and the quieter movies that are slowly starting to creak back into theaters after a loud, loud summer. I mean, the big releases this week include what’s essentially a “Jackie Jorm-Jorp”  Elvis Story. 

(Quick side note, Jackie Jorm-Jorp refers to the television show 30 Rock. One of the side plots involved an actress getting hire to play Janis Joplin, then the movie slowly losing the rights to her song, then her names, and the producers desperately trying to still pull off the movie. It’s hilarious, but it’s what I think of when I see a movie that’s about the twin brother of an Elvis sounding guy impersonating said Elvis sounding guy.) 

Anyway, we need to thank Joss Whedon, the patron filmmaker of the Summer, for a fantastic movie season. I’ve mentioned with my recap, we’ve had some great highs that involved dancing plants, fake cops, and love letters to music, and we’ve been assaulted by realistic origin reboots, unfunny comedies, and giant robots. We’ve seen teenagers die, we’ve seen dragons get trained, and we’ve seen apes take their rightful place as in charge of this world. (That last line was just in case they do take over. I want my bases covered.) And we have a lot to look forward to next year, already, roughly about 90 superhero movies in the works, including a directorial appearance from our own patron filmmaker, so I’ll be interested in seeing how that turns out.

Thank you Joss, for presiding over a fantastic Summer Movie Season. I look forward to your graces next year. 

However, as the seasons change… and with Bad Shakespeare there are three… Summer Movie Season, Prestige Season, and Good Bad Movie Season… It’s time we shift our focus to Tom Hanks, the Patron Filmmaker of Prestige Season, which runs from today until December 31st. 

Prestige Season is difficult to navigate. Rather than the giant blockbusters, we have smaller films, or films that are more focused on winning awards. And for a brief period in October, we have a bunch of horror movies that studios have not decided to just dump in August, randomly, figuring you could use a good scare before a trip to the beach. 

The other tough part is that these are the movies most likely to appear in the Annual Oscar Movie Showcase from AMC, which as loyal readers know (and disloyal readers can glean from my archives) Bad Shakespeare attends, blogs, and tries to go into as fresh as possible. So do I avoid those movies? Or do I risk it. Remember, I ran the risk of watching Gravity twice. 

Man, I hated Gravity. 

But Prestige Season and Tom Hanks are not about hatred. They’re about looking at a different type of movie. Tom Hanks, from what I can see, is all about the love. So, it is with that, we have to offer our prayer to Tom Hanks for a successful and enjoyable Prestige Season.

So… what do we have to look forward to for this very Tom Hanksian Prestige Season?

We will be running mazes with Young Adult Adapations anew

And once again, we visit Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth

With Hobbits, Elves, and Orcs of Blue. 

Christmas Brings us both sadness and mirth

As Robin Williams’ graces us final times

With a Merry Friggin’ Christmas and

Museums at Night, this time with London Chimes. 

Don’t take this time to bury your head in the sand

As Christian Bale releases his people with an Exodus

Kevin Smith returns to the big screen with a tale

About a man, turned into a walrus

And let us hope that he doesn’t fail

As Simon Pegg becomes Hector, in his search for Happiness. 

An all star cast decides This is Where I leave You

But I must confess

Interstellar is the movie that’s already in my queue. 

For the kids there are Boxtrolls and Big Heroes of Six

Although I’m not really sure what a Boxtroll is. 

And let’s not forget the big kids in the mix

With Equalizer, Gone Girl and A Walk Among the Tombstones…is….

Speaking of movie remakes being all the rage

Left Behind will rapture us again

This time with Nicolas Cage

That should drive Kirk Cameron insane. 

Brad Pitt Trades World War Z for World War 2

Batman Michael Keaton becomes Birdman

And Bill Murray teaches us all as St. Vincent, who

tells the story of a kid, and his best friend a man. 

Daniel Radcliff puts on some devilish Horns

Laggies has Kiera Knightly using her American speak

While Annie brings us musical horns

And Keanu plays a hitman past his peak. 

So we ask you look over these movies, Tom Hanks

As the Patron Filmmaker of Prestige Season

And bring the horror movies into your ranks

And the movies I didn’t name for some reason.

Amen.

There you have it. Our brief prayer to Tom Hanks, the Patron Filmmaker of Prestige Season. I won’t be covering it quite as much as I do Summer Movie Season (which has a better place in my heart for more nostalgic reasons.) But I hope you enjoyed this, and our look back on the Summer movie season that was.