Monday, March 11, 2013

Eight Stages of DC Metro Rage

The 8 Stages of Riding DC Metro when there is a Delay

1. Denial. You may hear about the delay on your way in. You think to yourself, it's going to be fixed, why worry?" Or, "it can't be that bad... These are professionals." Then you see the platform, and realize non of it is true.

2. Jamming onto a full train. Sure. There are currently 90 other people getting into the same door as you. The train can't physically hold another cockroach much less person. But you've been waiting over 45 minutes. You will get on this train.

3. Godot. Then, as you breathe in the sweet smell of what you've identified as Old Spice, knowing that the fragrance isn't as whimsical as the commercials suggest, you start your wait. You realize hope may never come. But you wait.

4. Emailing. Then, of course you contact your office since critical operations such as phone answering or getting yelled at for providing the wrong coffee cannot continue without you. You've pulled out your e-device and begun clicking away, understanding that your message is critical, and the corporate machine will turn once it has been viewed.

5. Anger. At this point you want the train to go, so you wave your newspaper or book and whisper under your breath. It fails to make the train move.

6. Sick Day counting. Do you have enough to leave the train and just go home? You were going to save them for March Madness. But you do only need more if your team makes it past the first round, and they do suck this year.

7. The vow to never take Metro again. But then you weigh how much parking and gas will cost.

8. Finally acceptance. It will leave momentarily, which means sometime between now and when the Canadian Geese become Earth's dominate species. But you wait. Because you're too lazy to get up, and your book is so good.

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