Monday, November 25, 2013

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Demon Jacob Whelan was not happy. He had just ordered the execution of one of the Chosen Ones, and he gladly would have ordered the execution of the two Angels were he not bound by those stupid laws, but Nicolas Cage was defying him, and trying to get a crowd gathered for his eventual execution of the final ritual needed to grant Jacob Whelan full power and allowed him to unleash an army unto the world. One that would be at the command of Nicolas Cage, but one with Jacob Whelan as the ultimate man behind the throne.

“So, let me get this straight,” Gabe said, staring into the dead eyes of a Santa Claus stand up, “your best bet to take over the world is currently announcing his plans on television right now.”

“It’s taped, so it probably won’t air until after the ritual is done,” Jacob Whelan replied.

“It doesn’t seem like a stupid idea to you?” Gabe said, holding up her still bound hands.

The truth was, he was cursing how stupid the idea was for about an hour now. Even Alice couldn’t talk him out of it. “This is the price we pay when we play with mortals.”

“True,” Raph replied, “Why don’t we just duke it out like the olden days? That was fun.”

The truth was, it wasn’t that much fun. The olden days, as Raph talked about fondly, often involved fire reigning from the sky, the occasional blood sacrifice, and of course, massive, massive destruction. After a nasty battle led to a giant flood to which no one would take responsibility for, it was decided that they would let mortals battle it out, albeit with them controlling everything.

It was a shame, too. Gabe really liked unicorns, and they were all wiped out in the flood.

Raph readjusted his arms in the shackles that held them and looked over at the dead eyed Santa with Gabe. Creepy.

“So,” Gabe continued, “You know you could let us go. Then we could go back to pitting our mortals against each other. It’s the perfect plan.”

Jacob Whelan had considered it. It would be nice having a proper enemy again. But, he was growing bored with the constant attempts at foiling, and decided to decline her offer.

“Did you really have to order the death of Mars?” Gabe replied when he declined.

“Yeah. He was the one I actually liked,” Raph replied.

“You didn’t like Kaplan?” Gabe asked.

“It’s not that I hated him. He just sort of grated on me after a few minutes.”


“Yeah. It was... I’m sorry, can we move the Santa. It’s his dead eyes, I can’t stare at that thing for another minute.”

Jacob Whelan had to admit that the dead eyed Santa was pretty creepy. Also that he ordering of the execution of Mars was a little rash. But at the same time, he had just been stabbed in the arm with a magical weapon, and as a result he was a little annoyed. Also that he was a little hungry. He hadn’t eaten in almost a day, and that tended to make him a little on edge. He should know better than to order an execution on an empty stomach. 

As soon as he ducked down to pick up the creepy Santa, Gabe lifted her foot and connected with the Demon’s head, knocking him over into the pile of discarded Christmas Decorations, temporarily tangling him in Christmas lights.

“What’s that going to accomplish, guys?” He wasn’t even struggling. Where were they going to run to? 

But it was too late. Both Angels, still bound at the wrists with enchanted, Angel Mojo blocking shackles, were up and started to run. Silently, Jacob Whelan noted that the next Lair he convinced a celebrity bent on world domination to build was going to have a proper prison instead of a storage room.

Fortunately, as most people were preparing for the early showing of the ritual, the hallways were mercifully empty, allowing them to run with the only fear being the Demon now untangled, ready to chase them through the halls of the Cage Compound. It was then that Gabe had an idea.

“Let’s get to Cage’s office. I bet you he has the key.”

Raph gave a silent nod and the two continued to run.

Raph and Gabe had been working together for about as long as any two Angels had been paired up. That was, pretty much since the beginning of time itself. They made a good team, and could often read each other’s mind’s. This wasn’t the case so much this time, as Raph wasn’t sure that Gabe was going to kick a Demon in the head, thus violating all sorts of treaties and rules set up to avoid that sort of thing. (It worked both ways. Gabe couldn’t kick the Demon in the head, the Demon couldn’t kick Gabe in the head. It was all very complicated legalese that had been crafted by the finest goblins they could find during the great negotiation.) But after being kidnapped and having two other chosen ones fail so miserably, it was time for a little rule breaking.

Eventually, they got into Nicolas Cage’s office, and ran to the desk that they desperately hoped would hold the key. 

Here was the thing about the shackles intended to keep Angels from using their Angel mojo: They tended to cover the entire hand. That meant that neither of them could use their hands to go through his desk. Both Angels sat down and attempted to take off their shoes using only the carpet and their other feet. This gave Raph a little bit more of an edge as he was able to slide his stylish shoe off a little easier than Gabe was able to slide off her stylish but not sensible for fighting boot. However, Gabe had more of an edge once the shoes were off as she was not wearing socks, whereas Raph was struggling with his. 

After a few minutes, and figuring that Jacob Whelan wouldn’t track them to Nicolas Cage’s office, as it was the stupidest place to go, they both were rummaging through the desk drawers using only their feet. The desk was filled with plenty of things. Scripts. Bills. A secret compartment that held a replica Declaration of Independence. At least Gabe hoped it was a replica, she wasn’t really in the mood to check it out. But no key. What they did find was a rather peculiar amulet.

“You don’t think?” Gabe asked, managing to drape the amulet over her shackle.

“Oh. That’s it.”

“Can we?”

“You already kicked a Demon in the face. We need to get this to Kaplan. Or Mars if he’s still alive.”

The two heard a stranger commotion than usual outside of the large Window overlooking Bourbon Street. They saw two cars trying to weave their way through the crowd of drunken revelers. followed by a bunch of police on foot and horse also trying to weave their way through the crowd of drunken revealers, followed by two reporters in a van and what looked like Nicolas Cage standing on top. Gabe turned her eyes to the lead car.

“Is that Kaplan?” 

“I told you I liked him best,” Raph replied.

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