Perfectly "Normal"

       Oh, North Carolina. Let’s talk, shall we? Especially about Bunscombe County Schools.

As some of you may or may not know, one of the bigger stories circulating has been about a 9 year old who was asked not to carry around his My Little Pony lunchbox because of the schools fears about bullying. Bullies who are so tough, mind you, that they managed to scare teachers and school administrators into telling a 9 year old that he can’t carry a My Little Pony lunchbox, or apparently the bullies will beat them all up, take their lunch moneys, or post hurtful things about them on twitter as kids do now.

Personally, I think it’s a lunch box. Also, My Little Pony fandom has grown to the point that there is a large amount of adult male My Little Pony fans that they call themselves “Bronies” and they have meetings and stuff. Google “Brony” and see what you get. If the kid wants to carry around a lunch box; let him. If people want to bully him about it, then maybe school administrators should do something about the bullies, and not the kid carrying around a lunchbox. Almost like it’s their job to protect kids or something.

There are two bigger issues at play here that genuinely concern me. First is the idea that there are things that are acceptable to “like” and things that are unacceptable to like, because one day you will get made fun of for it.

That sentence was confusing, but I rewrote it a few times and that was the best I can think of. 

Basically, by telling this 9 year old not to use a lunchbox with a cartoon character on it, the school is attempting to dictate what he should enjoy. Keep in mind, we’re not talking about bringing in a lunchbox with something that can be construed as  age inappropriate. It’s a lunchbox with a cartoon character on it. (Just the “wrong” cartoon character, according to the school.) He’s not bringing in a lunchbox with a bunch of naked ladies on it, or the Breaking Bad realistic lunch kit with working “My First Meth Lab”. It’s a lunch box. With a cartoon pony on it. 

I want everyone to think about something they like, a lot. In my case, it’s Doctor Who. I’m a huge fan of the Doctor. I have been for close to 30 years now; I’d say my fandom is pretty much set. I liked it back before it was cool. Now I want you to imagine there’s a group of people that want to make fun of you for liking that favorite thing you like. In my case, again, back before it was cool so I don’t have to imagine what it was like to be told that what I like “wasn’t cool.” In fact, I hid the fact that I was a fan of the Doctor for a long time because it wasn’t cool. It wasn’t fun. Not in the least. But you’re not allowed to openly talk about what you enjoy, why? Because someone will make fun of you for it.

But in this case, it goes a little bit deeper, because now we don’t just have the bullies bullying the kid, but now the SCHOOL is bullying the kid because they’re telling him, “hey.. hide what you like. We’re going to side with the people telling you to kill yourself on this.” 

The second concern goes right up with what I just talked about, and that is: The school is siding with the bullies on this one. The 9 year old who likes the cartoon pony (do you get the point that this kid is 9, and therefor is a kid, and maybe liking a pony isn’t so far off?) is the one in the wrong here. Those poor bullies... they can’t help themselves, can they? I mean, once this 9 year old stops carrying around a lunch box with a cartoon pony on it, THEN all the problems will be solved! No one will be bullied, ever again! They won’t find something else to pick on anyone for, right? No one will ever like something ever again that will open themselves up for bullying. 

Just as long as kids continue to like what is “normal.” Ah, normal. That loosely defined word that means what the larger group wants it to mean. And, quick spoiler, occasionally someone will decide you are not normal for whatever arbitrary reason. Maybe you have a bad haircut. Then the school can tell you to go get another one. Maybe you have an odd placed mole. The school should tell you to get it removed. Maybe your dad is a police officer and had to arrest one of those bullies for something. then the school can tell your dad to get another job. Maybe you did really well on a test and you’re being bullied for being “too smart.” Then the school can tell you to get lower grades because then you won’t get bullied. Maybe one day you brought in a Harry Potter book and the kids decided that reading is worth bullying you over. Then the school can tell you not to read. 

See? Perfectly Normal. 

The school failed this kid, and sadly this is part of a larger trend. You see, it’s easier to punish the kid carrying the lunchbox into school because it’s one kid, and with his spirit already broken, they didn’t think anyone would go to the media and they’d become a laughingstock around the country. Actually, I just re-researched this point. Bunscombe County Schools isn't a laughingstock around the country… you're a laughingstock around the world. Punishing those making fun of them would be hard, I guess. But you're not helping your students. You're telling everyone one of those bullies that they were right.

But it’s not just an issue of one kid carrying around a lunchbox. It’s part of a larger, disturbing trend where it’s easier to punish the person who is “different”. Not “normal” that ever so vague word we use to describe who people think we should be vs. what we actually want to do. But we punish the different because we don’t want to punish the normal. This happens all the time.

Lunchbox or not, this kid is being bullied. There’s ZERO reason to not punish the bullies. It doesn’t matter if he’s carrying around a lunchbox, or they just decided he was different because he has a funny name. It’s up to the school to create an environment where kids can learn. Some of that may mean pulling disruptive kids aside... and those are the kids telling this 9 year old to go kill himself... and punishing them. Not focusing on just the kid carrying around a lunchbox.

Make no mistake: Bunscombe County Schools failed its students. All of them. 

I'd Attend the Night Celebration with Someone Kissed by the Sun

Recently, several parents at a High School in Sullivan, Indiana decided that they wanted an exclusionary, “traditional” prom, and got loads of press coverage (yay! They paid attention to us) albeit overwhelmingly negative. Oh, and by “traditional” they of course mean no same-sex couples will be allowed. No doubt this traditional prom will not feature any pre-marital sex, shell fish, will ban all people with tattoos, and the women will only be allowed if a proper dowry is paid to the fathers. But I have a feeling that they just mean not allowing a certain segment of the population in.

                To the credit of the school administrators and a good number of students, they’ve pretty much said that these people can throw whatever dance they want to put on and label it how they’d like, but ultimately the Sullivan High School Prom was going to take at Sullivan High School, and no student would be excluded. The one “teacher” that made a comment on it apparently isn’t really a teacher, so once again it looks like some people wanted some publicity, got it, and are now free to do what they’d like.

                Personally, I don’t have a problem if someone is gay. However, it’s also none of my business who anyone chooses to love, except in the future if I have a daughter, at which time no person, man nor woman, will be good enough for my baby. But that’s still waaayyy off. No, today’s post isn’t really about the issue of how two people feel about each other. There is a much deeper, much more disturbing problem at play here.

                The real problem is that this is not the first time that someone has chosen to throw a “traditional” exclusionary prom. And, you see, when I say “someone” I mean, “parents” and that just makes it all the sadder. High School is hard. It’s harder if you realize you’re gay. It’s even harder when you have parents – supposedly the adults in the situation – telling their kids that it’s ok to bully and exclude some kids. Basically all the lessons they never learned from Animal Farm. I don’t understand how you can claim to be an adult and still do that to another human being.

                The other high profile case that was just a few years ago was a young woman that wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom, she couldn’t, then the school canceled the prom. Then they were super-adult about it, and proceeded to throw a “secret prom” that excluded this young woman… and a few other students that they deemed “undesirable.” These other students weren’t gay. They just decided they didn’t want them at the prom with their kids.

                So I have to ask… what kind of adults do this to another human being? Kids in high school are at an awkward time in their lives. They’re not quite adults, but they’re expected to act like adults. They’re expected to start their journey that will affect the rest of their lives… i.e, College, not college, where will they go, can they get in, etc. They get to face all types of pressure. They get to deal with the fact that some kids are immature. Some don’t have a home life that’s great. Some do. You know what the last thing they need is? Some parent, some adult coming at them because the still want to play the “mean girl” or “cool jock” and intimidate them. The general rule is that if you have a kid in high school, you’re too old to pull any of this off.

                Seeing this story made me mad. It made me so mad, actually, that this isn’t the first post I’ve written about this. Yeah, I just sort of didn’t publish them because they contained a lot stronger language and brief nudity, and I like to think of Bad Shakespeare as a family friendly blog. (Well… family friendly-ish. I mean, I do allow those undesirables to look at my blog. WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!) But it made me bad and a lot of my ranting came from a visceral place that didn’t want to let these parents off easy. Make no mistake, if you’re trying to segregate a prom and exclude people that don’t fit into your view of what will make the night “wonderful” for your kids that could probably care less and just want to hang out with their friends, then you are a horrible person. These are high school kids. You are an “adult.” Perhaps you take a minute to act like one.

                Hmm… I guess I can get a little harsh today.

                Humanity has found ways to exclude people since Oog first noticed that Ugh’s hair was blonde, and he was obviously kissed by the Sun god, and thus he was not allowed in the Celebration of the Night. I understand that we just keep finding new and different ways to do it. But I just can’t find a way to justify or think about what is going through a parent’s mind as they exclude kids because they feel that something is wrong. I really can’t. It's bullying. Plain and simple.

                Congrats to the Sullivan High School staff for coming out and basically treating this as a non-issue, and shame on the parents that wish to act like the mean kids and further bully kids that really don’t need it. I promise you, they’ve already gotten enough of it. You don’t need to help.