Friday, June 1, 2012

Customer Service... er... finished?

Dear Valued Customers,

            It is with great regret that I must report that I will be leaving Franklin Family Construction after five wonderful years. I have been honored to be able to work beside my family for so many years, and people that I’ve grown to consider family.

            During our last assignment, working on the construction of a tower that was to eclipse the Eastern Seaboard, there was an accidental opening of a portal to a dimension of fire. Most of the Franklin Family Construction Crew was sucked in, and forced to live their most terrible fears for several weeks until their release could be negotiated. I am happy to report that everyone was returned unscathed, and most of them were able to have their memories of the events removed.

            Fortunately, I was able to claw my way out very quickly. Because of my ingenuity in quickly sacrificing our foreman Jeff, I was rewarded with a seat of power by Dr. Armagedonus. Of course, this is after he to complete his latest plan, a Death Beam powered by the wind. Despite being foiled in the past, he truly believes that this will work, and in a future free of pesky meddling secret agents, superheroes, and rogue New York City cops.

            All future complaints can be directed to your new Customer Service Representative, Ted Connor. I have worked with Mr. Connor for several years, and I have full confidence of his ability to give you the same level of customer support that you have come to expect.

            Thank you all for your time and support.

            Theresa Franklin
            Future Queen of What Was Once Known As Iowa.

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