Dear Mr. Thomar, the Bringer of Inconceivable
Destruction,
Franklin
Family Construction is flattered by your counter offer of 10,000 gold pieces
and seventy goats to aid in the construction of your “Castle of Doom atop the
Highest Mountain Surrounded by a Moat of Pain”. However, this is clearly well
below the estimate we originally sent. Such a fee is not enough to cover our
permits to build outside the United States, much less in another dimension. The
estimate plainly stated that the Moat of Pain itself was going to cost at least
fifty goats.
In
addition, our highly skilled crew would be unable to work under your foreman,
Lord Bramer, Fist of Death. We have our own foreman, Jeff, who is quite adept
at motivating our crew without whipping or constant threats that they be sent
to the Pit of Perpetual Terror. Of course, we understand there are many
different ways to motivate a crew. Jeff has just found another way to get his
crew working in his own way. Different motivation tactics for different people,
as they say.
Should
you choose to accept the original estimate, we will be able to begin work next
Tuesday. This will give us plenty of time to finish construction well before
the Festival of the Solar Dragon in six months. I believe this was your
timetable in ensuring a proper tribute to the Old Ones, and thus allowing you
to take your rightful place as leader of your home dimension. Any other delay
and I am afraid we will have to cancel this project, and move onto another.
Thank
you very much for your time.
Respectfully,
T.
Franklin
Customer
Service Representative
Franklin
Family Construction
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