Friday, April 26, 2013

Joss Whedon: The Patron Saint of Summer Movie Season

    This is the last Friday in April.

    For a lot of people, it’s that... the last Friday in April. It’s a reminder that soon we won’t be able to say how cute the April Showers are that bring May flowers, but instead will be complaining about Monsoon like thunderstorms and oppressive, oppressive heat. Of course, I live in an area that was once a swamp, and every year Mother Nature likes to remind us that even though we built a giant city on top of it, she’s going to wallop us with enough humidity that there’s a real fear of drowning as you walk to your car in the morning.

    That was a dark point. Moving on.

    It’s the last Friday in April, which means the next Friday will be in May. And the first Friday in May is the first Friday of... Summer movie season. Yes, Summer movie season. We’ve eaten the broccoli that is prestige season and made us better movie viewers, we’ve suffered through the junk food that is January to April, and now we get to view some of the greatest movies that Hollywood has to offer. Yes, it will involve reboots, sequels, sequels to reboots... but they’re all going to be enjoyable. Summer movie season is a magic time when the cool air inside the theater helps you forget your troubles, and let’s you truly experience a man putting on a suit of armor and fighting crime, three friends who just don’t know any better and manage to  get hung over a third time, and a version of a Shakespeare play directed by Joss Whedon. (the patron saint of Summer Move Season.)

    I personally can’t wait for Summer Movie Season. I look forward to it from September until April. Yes, I’ll go to the movies during that time. I’ve even see some great movies during that time, and I’ll enjoy them. But there’s something different about Summer Movie Season. I can’t explain it. I have a movie buddy that I work with, and we try to find which movies we want to see. We even trade off who picks the movie which week. (Although he still has six picks left because he counts the Oscar Movie Showcase as 9 of my picks in a row. I think he’s cheating.)

    Anyway, to prepare, I think it’s important that we all take a minute, and say a prayer for a fantastic Summer Movie Season. I hope you all bow your heads with me.

    Our Whedon.
    Who art in Hollywood.
    Buffy be thy creation.
    Protect us from the bad sequels.
    The bad remakes
    and the bad sequels of remakes.
    May the new Star Trek live up to the hype
    Protect Iron Man and the Hangover from being Ewoked
    By a third act.
    Man of Steel will make us forget Brandon Routh
    And let’s see what Fast Six has to bring.
    and whatever the Great Gatsby is.
    May your remake of Much Ado About Nothing
    Be so great they’ll bring back Firefly on the spot
    Protect Will Smith’s box office dominance
    As he gambles into the dark M. Night
    Let’s watch as Pixar does another sequel
    And let them find their way again
    We thank thee for Giant Robots fighting Giant Monsters
    As it should be
    We are also grateful for At World’s End
    And Simon Pegg
    Let the popcorn be delicious
    and the nachos be... nachoy? I guess
    And bring back Angel for a proper ending.


    Okay, everyone. Let’s say a few more Our Josses, at least one Hail Will Smith, and we’ll meet back here next week as Iron Man 3 kicks off our Summer Movie Season!

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