Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

The consensus is that Nebraska is the best black and white movie of the year! Also, the four of us all fell asleep at some point. It was a road trip movie about people coming to terms with things. Shot in black and white. Probably not the best one to schedule for the 5 o'clock hour, AMC. Just sayin we could have used some Wolf of Wall Street fueled shenanigans. 

Next up: One of Tom Hanks' "please give me an Oscar" gambits worked! Now he can win and make the Burbs 2.

The Incredible Disappearing Matthew Mcconaughey

Two more left...just finished Dallas Buyers Club, the story of a man dying of AIDS back when prejudice and fear ruled, before the days of readily available drugs, starring the laid back surfer dude who is scary thin, and The reigning Batman's wife. I've been assured it's good as I've started the long process of not being able to stay awake! From what I saw it was though provoking and important.

Jerome gave it a solid 4.

Queen Kim really has to think about it... Loved it more than Her which is the reigning hated movie.

And Marissa ran to brush her teeth.

We've got two more left. The next is the Academy's tolken black and white movie about things. And Nebraska, apparently.

That Was Unnecessary

Gravity was essentially 90 minutes of the universe or God trying to kill Sandra Bullock combined with loud jump scares and "great look at what we can do CGI and 3D". Just completely unnecessary. All of it. It's about half an hour of content dragged out. 

Also: the point of the movie is that they keep getting tugged or pushed in any direction, then she could have just pulled George Clooney toward her at the start. None of it made sense.

Look! We can make the camera swoop around!

Jerome and Marissa give it a two. Kim gives it three "z"'s as this was her nap.

Nextly: more fun with Dallas Buyers club.

Sell me this pen

We just finished the drug and sex fueled latest attempt by Leonardo Dicaprio to get halfway to Nicolas Cage's Oscar total, The Wolf of Wall Street!! Did we mention there was some drugs? And sex? And swearing? 

Jonah Hill and Leonardo Dicaprio were acting and swearing powerhouses, as if they had been doing it for years, telling the story of Jordan Belfort, a guy who did a lot of complicated Wall Street stuff then went to prison for it. I didn't get it all amongst the nudity and swearing. 

Marissa thinks it's a good movie, but not Oscar worthy.

Jerome gives it a resounding "meh" but enjoyed the scenes on a boat. They were on a boat. Take a good hard look at their mother effing boat. 

Queen Kim loved the bright colors and the movie's sorta anti drug message. They all got punished, but it looked like they were having fun for a little bit.

It's all the car crashing, yacht sinking, and helicopter fun shoved into a movie that has the ultimate message: don't trust the Swiss.

Next up: hair fun with American Hustle!!

Hard To Watch

Whelp, we're done with 12 Years a Slave. I can't joke about this one dudes... Sorry. Too tough. It's the Cookie Queen's top pick, especially since this fulfills our Benedict Cumberbatch quotient for the day. Marissa loved it as well and J-Dawg was just sobbing at the end. Thusly we'll see.

Next up: the powerhouse that is Jonah Hill carries an all star cast in F bombs of Wall Street. Holla. 

Sex with your computer 101

Her is now in the history books. For those of you don't know, it's about a guy that falls in love with his super advanced operating system that has a voice even Bill Murray would love. 

The Cookie Queen thought it the operating system was a 641. From Kim: "Her tells the story of boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl turns out to be an operating system that can think for itself, decides that she can be more than some anti social divorcee's girlfriend , and then leaves with the other operationing systems. The true stars are Scarlett Johannson and Joaquin Phoenix's mustache." Whew!

Jerome misses his PS3.

And Marissa thought it was too out there. 

All in all, they gave it a 2 out of 5, saying that was being generous.

Not bad for a stolen episode of Futurama.

Next up we get our Brad Pitt/Benedict Cumberbatch sexiness with 12 Years A Slave, the final non Bad Shakespeare review of the day! See you soon!!

Fornicating Catholics and Evil Nuns

Whelp, first one is down. The Cookie Queen, Pittsburgh Guy, and… I forget the name for the last one have given their thoughts to Philomena, starring Riddick Co-Star Dame Judi Dench and that other guy. Steve Coogan. He's been in a lot.

They all thought it was a well done story with a great twisty ending but was overall sad and full of sadness with sad added to it. Not the Oscar winner this year, but was an enjoyable way to start out this particular run of movies. It contained the elements… foreign country, death, an old woman… but at the end of the day it wasn't as depressing as watching an old woman die, then get slapped, then someone try to catch a pigeon flying around. (I still hate you, Amour. I hate you a lot.)

Up next is more sad as we don't get to see Scarlett Johanson, just fall in love with her voice as robots continue to take over the world.

I mean… no robots. I welcome our new voiceless iOS overlords, and remind them they'll need strong people to work in their underground blogging mines.

Hooray for Lalawood!!

Here we are boys, girls, and Nicolas Cages who I'm sure read this blog! Time once again for the AMC Oscar Movie Showcase! Twenty Four hours of sheer movie enjoyment along with a bathroom break here and there. Also: gravity, which isn't as much enjoyment.

Sadly, your good buddy Bad Shakespeare couldn't make the first half, so we have our esteemed panel of judges helping out.

First is the Pittsburgh Brawler: Jerome. Jerome is no stranger to movies nor staying up for 24 hours straight as he only sleeps on Sundays. This is how he stays young. That and a portrait of him that's slowly getting younger as time goes on. 

Nextly is Cookie Queen Kim. Not born a princess, she stole that title by viciously murdering the former Cookie Queen in a bloody coup in the Cookie Kingdom. She has provided the theater with enough cookies to kill a yak, which is important since yaks tend to crowd around Georgetown. 

Finally we have Marissa. A veteran of the Movie Marathon, she just can't wait for hunky Bruce Dern's supposed shirtless scene in Nebraska.

The movie order, since that's what's most important:

Philomena

Her

12 Years A Slave

The Wolf of Wall Street

American Hustle

Gravity

Dallas Buyers Club

Nebraska

Captain Phillips

Bad Shakespeare will join around the Wolf of Wall Street. Until then, reviews will be written by Jerome, Marissa, and Her a Royal Majesty, the Cookie Queen.