Bad Shakespeare is going to London. You've Been Warned.

When I made the switch earlier this year from High School English Teacher in Training to English Master… getter… I’m going to need a bit more direction before I assign a title… I decided to take more advantage of the opportunities in front of me. Not that there weren’t plenty already, but I had to completely switch gears. I was on a pretty set track. Take classes A,B, and C, you get an “elective” so long as it’s this class, take an internship, and then here’s your Masters. Also, quit any full time job you have. 

Then I made the switch, and a whole new world of possibilities opened up in front of me. For one, I had a wide variety of classes, which is now why I’m studying Cinema in addition to 19th Century American Literature… and that’s just to start. I can take almost any class! And I have those popular electives, which are awesome. Which is also why, just for fun, one day I went to see what I could study abroad.

I’m very fortunate that my father was in the military, so going overseas wasn’t anything I thought about, it was just something I did. I was actually born in Germany, which explains my affinity for pretzels and good beer, and I actually was able to live in Korea for a few years which explains why I look so much like Kim-Jong Un. I was in the south, but I’d like to think that we connected on some level. Not because I’m a monster, but because I like wearing a uniform and being adored for no reason. 

So when I was looking at the information to study abroad, it was just to see if there were any programs that catered to me, a Graduate Student. I never really look advantage of the fact that I could have tried studying abroad when I was an undergraduate because, again, despite studying English, I was a “focused” individual that didn’t think too much outside the box. 

Then I found it. A program to study Theatre in London. London. Despite my overseas adventures and my love of traveling, Shakespeare, Doctor Who, Sherlock Holmes (Before he was Cumberbatched), and giant clocks, I’ve never been to London. I always wanted to, mostly so I could see if I could find Hogwarts. So, just for fun, I decided to see if they’d cater to me, a Graduate Student that had a little bit of time saved up in his Vacation fund.

A few emails and an application later… I’m going to London. To Study Theatre. And I can’t wait.

It’s strange, really, that I never considered the possibility of what studying overseas would entail. I still really don’t, because right now I just sort of have a flyer and the class that it will cover (Yay, electives!) But to me, it’s about taking risks. No, not because I’m flying on an airplane during a time period when people have discovered a spider the size of a dog in the rainforest. (BURN IT. BURN IT WITH FIRE.) But because to be honest… it’s unlike me.

I talked about earlier this year making this big switch. I’ve referenced it a few times since then, but I haven’t really “talked” about it too much. I mean, it’s a big switch, but at the same time I said my piece and I don’t want to appear ungrateful for the time. But I have to reference the fact that I spent two years planning testing, and working hard to get a degree. Then I said, “naw… I’d rather do this.” Part of that was taking risks like going to London, because I’ve never been, and the bottom line is, I want to. I wan to go. I want to study Theatre under one of the best professors i had in Undergrad. It’s an interest of mine.

I’m excited to finally go to a country I’ve wanted to visit for a while now, and I only thought I’d visit in some quick trip. All in all, with some vacation time I have saved up, I’m going to end up spending about a month overall in London. I promise I’ll keep the Doctor Who jokes to a minimum while I’m there. I can’t make the same claim about James Bond jokes. Those are actually kind of funnier. 

My point to this whole story/inspirational quote/post/whatever it is I’m talking about, is that I spent a good two years of my life studying to go down the straight and narrow path that will contribute to society. Now I’m going to London for no other reason than I want to. It’s a big difference for me, and it’s a lot to process, but sometimes we have to do what we want to. Life is short, despite the fact that they’ve found new and exciting ways to extend our lifetimes, so long as it doesn’t involve downloading our brains into machines with ironic consequences. (Novel Idea: we can download our brains into machines with ironic consequences. Dibs.) But we have to take advantage of what we want to do, not what we think is expected of us. 

That’s a lot of words to pretty much brag that I’m looking forward to riding the lorry and eating crisps with the Queen. She’s pretty easy to get to talk to, right? I mean, there’s like a form I have to fill out or something. I can only assume. If not her, then Emma Watson. You've been warned!

I guess I’m just saying it’s an exciting time for me. And All I had to do was take a little bit of time to decide what it is that I really want. And for now, what I want is to go to England. And possibly visit the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Teaching vs... well, Teaching, I Guess

As some of you know, I recently decided to change my graduate school focus from “Teaching Secondary Education with a concentration in English” to “English Literature.” Or as some of you have let me know, “You selfish [something stronger than jerk but I’m going to go with jerk because it’s my blog and I get to write what I want], think about the children.” I’d like to say it was a long transition, filled with peril and adventure, but other than a few negative comments and needing to update my immunization record, I just had to reapply, then cross my fingers until I got into the new program. Then I was in.

Allow me to clarify real quick (I sum up): The decision to leave the education program was a long, difficult decision and I catalogued it all right here. That being said, the actual physical act of saying, “I want to be in the English Program instead of the Education program” just involved taking some paperwork and refilling it out. Mostly because I had been accepted to the English Program, back when I first thought that “hey, maybe I don’t want to be a teacher anymore,” but then talked myself out of it because, well, what I’m about to get into.

Being in the English Program now, I had to register for classes, and that’s when it truly and totally hit me that I was no longer studying to be a teacher. I mean, I obviously had inclinations before, mostly that I was no longer showing up at my internship anymore, and for some reason I got a lot less of the teacher jokes that were posted on Facebook. 

The biggest difference, for me, is mainly that I have such a wide variety of classes to choose from. Back when I was studying Education, it was a pretty clear cut path: You take this class, then you take this class, after that you take this class, then internship, then you’re a fully licensed teacher with all the rights, privileges, and access to Facebook jokes you can muster. It’s a strange feeling knowing that I can take “Introduction to Cinema” or “World Literature” and it’s all because I want to, and it’s what I choose to learn.

I keep telling people that for three years, I felt like I was in the world’s longest job interview. I’d take a class, then at the end people would ask me, “how was it? Do you want to continue?” Of course, the atmosphere is supportive, so it was more like, “How was it? You want to continue.” I don’t meant that in a bad way, necessarily, but it’s easy to get wrapped up in it all. I know at least one other person in my class that ended up dropping out of the Education program for a lot of the same reasons i did. I probably should have listened when she talked to me, and I had the same debate. 

But it was this long, focused job interview, and at the end, I knew what I’d be doing: getting a resume together and going off somewhere and teaching. The goal is pretty similar with what I’m doing now: I eventually want to teach, just at the college level with all my newfound college smartiness. Also, write and publish things that make people scratch their chins and go “hmmm.” As opposed to now when then scratch their heads and go “whaaaa?” 

I guess it just surprises me, the big change that comes with switching like this. I spent to much time focused on the one goal, having this option and control over what I want to study is almost overwhelming. I say “almost.” Because there really is an Introduction to Cinema class, and hey, I’m going to take it. Because I’m me. And have you not been paying attention?

       But it's an exciting new journey that's remarkably similar to the old one in some ways. I'm going to have to take classes, do my best, and probably have to finish a lot more reading. Like, a lot. 

This also ties into what I was wondering back in March about the direction of Bad Shakespeare. So much of it has been tied into my becoming a teacher, I wondered where it was going to go. Some of you have even noticed less posting, and that’s because I was wondering what I was going to do with it. I love writing this blog. 

I’m looking forward to figuring out what wacky adventures I’m getting into next. 

The Spirit of James Franco Lives in Our Hearts

Six weeks is a long time. On this blog, I try to comment on everything from silly science fiction to education to writing to just whatever is on my mind for the day. (Squirrel!), but obviously for six weeks... four weeks plus two where I didn’t really feel like writing anything... I didn’t cover anything. I have a few options here.

1. Go back and write about what happened as if it was timely, even though it’s really not.
2. Just dump everything into a post here, in one glorious mishmash of what’s on my mind. Also, look up if mishmash is a world. Note: It’s not. I’ll allow it.

Thusly, here’s a list of a few things that have happened in the news or around the world that would have warranted full Bad Shakespeare posts in the month of November and early December, but I didn’t get to because I was dedicating my blog to other things.

-Cow and Boy is officially ending! As you may recall, this is the hilarious strip that is like Calvin and Hobbes but with a boy and his cow instead, and was cancelled so that more digital room could be given to reruns of Peanuts, or other comics where the creator died years ago and now they’re just coasting on jokes that aren’t funny anymore. (There’s a new comic that’s just about a circle. Hilarious.)

Sadly, as Cow and Boy went to web comic form, it was limited to three days a week. As of the end of the year, it’s going to be relegated to zero days a week. Before it’s over, go over and show some love at www.cowandboy.com. It’s funny.

-Core Common Standards for Education are out, and now one group hates it and then the other group that is always against the previous group likes it, and there’s little reasoning or evidence that anyone read anything having to do with it. Because everyone in politics is stuck in third grade where if one side likes it, the other side HAS to hate it, which will make the inevitable cure for Cancer awkward as one side is apparently going to have to take a stance against it.

Me, personally? I read the English part of it, and basically it focuses more on understanding the text rather than just trying to repeat a bunch of facts. Which I’m for. So I’m for that part of it at least. I won’t pretend I read any more of it, or understood it.

Quick note: Bad Shakespeare and it’s writer fully endorses any cures for Cancer, no matter who endorses it. Unless it’s Mike Myers. Where’s our next Austin Powers? Yeah, you focus less on Cancer and more on that.

-Another day, another high school teacher fired for something on social media. This teacher’s crime: she posted a picture of her at the beach, with her fiance holding her... girl part. Yep. We’ve reached that point, where apparently teachers can’t do anything outside of school except sit quietly and wait for the next school day to start.

Why am I bringing up this one when there are literally stories every day of teachers being fired or suspended for the crime of being humans who don’t shut off? Well, for one, it’s her FIANCE. Which means they were ready to be married. Also, there was the little fact that they were both coaches. (Suddenly, you might see where this is going.) She was the girls volleyball coach. He was the boys football coach. And only she was disciplined... Hmmmmmm.... Yeah, so once again sports rulez (with a z, that’s intentional) in public schools.

-This is the only other thing with a quasi political bent, and I have to admit it’s recent enough I debated giving it over to a whole post, but apparently we’ve entered a world where Santa’s ethnicity is a hot button political issue because we’ve run out of things to talk about. For those of you who haven’t been sucked in, basically some FOX News Anchor Lady said that Santa was white, then a bunch of people made fun of her, then she said she was joking (look, the debate is stupid but I saw the clip - she wasn’t joking, and if she was, it wasn’t funny.)

It’s really important to me that anyone seriously debating this issue starts off with the caveat that Santa isn’t real. That’s important for this debate: The magical, all knowing, all seeing, obese man that commands an army of elves while riding in a sleight pulled by flying reindeer (one of which has a red, glowing nose) is a fictional character. That means he’s of no ethnicity. Oh, he can be described, but he doesn’t exist. Just as Bilbo Baggins doesn’t look like Martin Freeman “officially”, Hamlet has been played by more actors than you can shake a stick at, and James Franco’s appearance is left up to everyone’s imagination, Santa is part of our imaginations and looks just like however the person imagining him wants to look. We live in a world that has TWO different Captain Kirks, people. Two. Each one dreamier than the last, but they’re also both not real. (Unless your last name is Kirk and you joined the military. In which case... I’m sorry for all the jokes at your expense. You kinda brought it on yourself.)

Why is this a real issue anyone is discussing? The whole thing came from a harmless article that just suggested what I just said: Santa is imaginary and can look however we want.

-I’m disappointed I didn’t get to do my “Bad Shakespeare Black Friday Shopping Guide” this year, which I had planned since last year. It would have included such great tidbits as: 

1. Bear Mace isn’t just a good idea, it’s a great one.
2. Hire your local High School Football Team to run defense.
3. Visit a store with furniture first, bring your Thanksgiving meal and have it on a table for sale.
4. When all else fails remember: lick whatever you want. It’s yours!
5. Remember to be there when the store opens so there’s a cool picture of you screaming as you burst in! Also, remember to have a cool pose.
6. Don’t be that guy. You know. The one that doesn’t know what’s for sale. Research!
7. Mercy is for the week. Sweep the leg.

Whew, I think that just about covers it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Instead of Asking "What If" I ask "Why If"

               Once again, disclaimer: I do not know squat about politics, other than the news says that the one guy is running against the other guy, and although there are other guys running no one pays attention to them. I’m a guy who comments on things he sees. Last time it was a well-known Republican and a comic book. Today it’s musings brought about a well-known Democrat and education. I give my opinion. Don’t like’em… there are still plenty of evil robot jokes. You’ll like those, unless you’re an evil robot, in which case I await to serve you my liege. So, here we go…

                A couple of weeks ago President Barack Obama unveiled his “STEM Master Teacher Corps” which sounds like a really bad movie starring Tommy Lee Jones as a retired Drill Sergeant who becomes a teacher to turn kid’s lives around. But in the end, they end up touching his heart just as much as they touch his. (I like Tommy Lee Jones, I just don’t think this is a good career move. Call me and we’ll discuss.)

                Moving on.

                “The STEM Master Teacher Corps” is an elite group of teachers (I’m being serious, this is in the official description) that would work to boost U.S. student’s worldwide performance in Engineering, Math, Science, and Technology. The plan calls for the hiring of more teachers, especially in Math and Science.  (For those who can’t tell “STEM” stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.)

                This is where a lot of you are going, “yay? I guess? What’s your point? Aren't you always going on about teaching... Isn’t this a good thing?”

                Well, yes, the idea of anyone deciding that teaching is important is a good thing. But pay close attention to the title of this blog, and then pay attention to the emphasis on who he was going to hire. I’ll let it come to for a minute… and there it is. More Math and Science. This blog is called “Bad Shakespeare.” I’m studying to enter the cutthroat world of English teaching. That begs a BIG Bad Shakespearean Question: “Why then, are you studying English? What’s the importance of the arts if even as the President has decided that we are going focus on getting kids some education, we will be starting with science, math, and notably not English or the Arts?

                See, I had mentioned way back at the start of this blog that someone made a sarcastic comment regarding the fact that I was studying to be an English Teacher. Yeah, that wasn’t the first or last one, but while some are focused on the “teacher” part, others are focused on the “English” part. Some people feel that teaching English isn’t important beyond the simple reading and writing aspect of it. As soon as you get done with that part, it’s important to focus on the “real world” stuff, which doesn’t include the arts or Shakespeare.

                But that robs kids of something fundamentally important. Teaching the English isn’t just about showing them how to spell a word or correctly map a sentence, most of which can be done with a computer. It’s this good now, I can’t wait to see how well it’s done when my kids are in school. (Where they’ll all be monitored by robots, anyway.)Teaching English is about teaching something inside of us. It’s learning that each one of these words has its own little personality, and it’s up to you to figure how they should fit together. It’s taking a look at the bigger issues, like who we are as people, and boiling them down into bite sized chunks called “books” or “plays” or in some rare cases, “movies.” (For example Die Hard. That’s right, we’re all John McClane facing down our own Hans Gruber.)

                Humanity has always sought to create worlds bigger than just the stars and the moon or designing the next “wheel.” It’s seeing a beautiful sky and being so moved to tears that you want to write a book or paint a picture, not just being able to break it down to a chemical reaction and saying “that’s why it’s orange.” And none of this is saying these things aren’t important. They’re very important. But why do they have to be mutually exclusive?

                None of this is meant to knock down scientists who are very good at what they do, and are artists in their own way. I mean, I’m sure it was some kind of scientist who invented a way for us to get the McRib so quickly, so I guess they’re not all bad. It’s just that when it comes down to emphasizing a subject, English tends to get lost in the mix. History sometimes, too, but I’m not studying to be a History teacher history is boring that can go away. (I’m kidding. History isn’t boring, but it’s not as thrown away as easily as English and a study of the arts.) But once you leave out things like English and the Arts, you start to leave out critical thinking. You leave out that age old question that humans have been asking since the dawn of time "Why?"

                English helps us look at the world in a unique way. It’s also a uniquely human thing. All animals focus on science, math, or technology… whether it’s elephants figuring out a herd, or a lion thinking of a better way to take down an elephant… but have you ever heard lion poetry (which admittedly would be kind of cool)? Or an elephant try to figure how why he’s here? So, focusing solely on the “important subjects” can take away that uniqueness that makes us human. Then what are you left with? You’re left with robots that can add and subtract, but can do little to tell you the point of it.