The D is Silent

We just finished with the most excellent, most violent, most one liners of the day, Django Unchained. The consensus: we were surprised it was nominated, but we all loved it. Nice little wild card in the middle of the day. Night. What time is it?

Django Unchained is about Quentin Tarantino writing a revenge movie about a slave who vows to get his wife back and kill Leonardo Dicaprio, possibly for inspiring Celine Dion to write that horrible song. Also, there's this German guy played by professional German Guy, Chris Waltz. I think that's how you spell it. We've reached the point where spelling doesn't count.

Despite the extreme violence, this was a great movie. Action, adventure, Tarintino's trademark dialogue.... Just too much fun. While this one probably won't win, let's face it... It's awesome. And funny. And it's Tarintinoy.

They just moved us to a new theater. Mostly to help with the heat, but t helps with the smell. To also dinner time! In a little bit, we start with Russell Crowe's Sing Along! Join us by playing the soundtrack at home, and building your own barricade with furniture.

Oh, Canada...eh

Your intrepid movie crew has now watched our third movie, Argo. Now, on this blog I give Ben Affleck a hard time, but that's because I hold him to a much higher standard than everyone else. He was the bomb in Phantoms.

Argo tells the story of a CIA agent who fakes a film to save a bunch of hostages who are hiding in the Canadian Embassy, then when they are rescued they give Canada all the credit because its Canada and they can use the boost.

Generally we loved this movie. It was suspenseful, even though we all knew that they were going to get out safe because the movies this year have used up all the sad with Amour. Ben Affleck was great as an actor and director, John Goodman improves every movie he's in, and Bryan Cranston reminds me that Breaking Bad can't come back fast enough.

Next up we use profanity with abandon in Reservoir Dogs, the Western.

Fugitive 2: Tommy Lee Jones vs. John Wilkes Boothe

Lincoln. Wow.

We are all sitting here in awe of this movie, all giving it 4's and 5's. its a great feat to take a well known story and manage to actually make things interesting. Also: stovepipe hats galore.

I will not be recapping the storyline, because you should know it. Lincoln frees slaves, twist ending though. Turns out Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a true story. Tommy Lee Jones grants Lincoln the great power of the silver axe. Who knew? (Kim).

No this was a fantastic movie. The acting was amazing, especially Tommy Lee Jones playing Civil War Tommy Lee Jones and James Spader as Civil War Big Lebowski.

We have finished movie number 2. Onto Ben Affleck's Argo, about Canadians that save the day.

Old Lady Slappin', Pigeon Catchin'

The first movie is done... Amour. It was... Sad. Very, very sad. Basically it's about an old woman dying in French for two hours. We felt it was extremely slow. And sad. And French. Then her husband catches a pigeon. That's about it.

Maybe I just don't get fancy movies anymore. I'm sure there was deep symbolism, but by the time she was dead, I just wanted the movie to end. Also, too many awkward moments.

My co-bloggers feel the same. Jerome felt it was too much. Kati was blah. Kim gave me the title, and along with Marissa wanted to know the layout of the apartment. It was that fun.

In the very least, it makes the Civil War seem less depressing.

The Schedule... Of Doom!!!

Ok ladies and gents, movie lovers and lovers of watching people stay up for 24 straight hours... Welcome to the coverage of our huge movie marathon. We are seated, but most importantly... We have the schedule!

Starting out our day will be Oscar's biggest "why"... Amour. I guess they wanted to start the day with uplifting, or they just realized we could only get sadder. As this is the movie I wanted to see the least, I'm glad it's out of the way.

Next up... I'm thinkin' Lincoln. Spoiler alert, it's during lunch, so I'm hoping that I can get a hot dog around the time of the Gettysburg Address.

Then let the Phantoms and Daredevil jokes fly as we check out Argo, and experience Oscars real tale of redemption. And Canadians.

After That, we have Django Unchained, and we will use profanity with abandon.

Darkness falls as we hear the people, and large sections of the audience, sing as we check out 30 Foot Odd Grunts frontman Russell Crowe headline an all star cast with Les Miserables.

Then we hit up Zero Dark Thirty at midnight. Comedy!!!

Life of Pi is in the Morning waning hours. Because when everyone is tired is the best time for a deeply spiritual metaphor. This counts as Church.

Then it's the Hunger Games. No? Silver Linings Playbook? Jennifer Lawrence is in it, anyway.

Finally it's Beasts of the Southern Wild. I have nothing more to say on this.

Enjoy the show. I have to go watch a Frenchwoman Die.

Update numbah One

We are in line. We are a little further back than I'd like, but everyone is excited. Someone was walking their dog and they managed to find all the food. Someone has a straight up couch cushion with them... They know what they are doing.

Also, dude in front of me is debating the merits of Smart Cars.

The doors should be opening soon.

AMC Oscar Movie Showcase... Meet the Bloggers!

Ladies and gentlemen, movie lovers and non-movie lovers who stumbled on this page by searching for Breaking Bad Spoilers... welcome to Bad Shakespeare’s coverage of the AMC Oscar Move Showcase. As I’ve explained all week, Bad Shakespeare and company will be watching all nine Oscar nominated movies in an all day 24 (ish) hour marathon. 26 if we decide to see Identity Theft when the marathon is over.

At this point we’ve entered the theater, scoped out our seats, and snuck in our snacks even though we don’t really have to sneak in our snacks and they really don’t mind since we’ll be sitting in a theater all day. We’ve figured out what movies we’re going to sit through, and which ones we’ll watch with one eye on the screen, one eye on the bathroom.

Now, normally this blog is just lil’ ol’ me... with occasional posts from Erin Garland over from the Island (theislandofmisfittoyseag.blogspot.com... catch island fever with her 100th post, posted today. Then come right back here.) But today we are going to have four other very special reviewers who are going to not only help me review these movies, but will also sing along to Les Miserables, so I’m not so the only one singing. I’m fairly certain I’ll be the only one dressed up as Javert, who is played by 30 Foot Odd Grunts frontman Russell Crowe. (Buckle up, that’s not the only time I’ll be making that joke.)

Let’s take a minute to meet my very special co-blogging guests today.

First up, there’s Bad Shakespeare... loveable Michael, who is your usual blogger. I’ve already seen two movies on this list, Les Miserables and Django Unchained, both of which are spectacular movies in their own right. At this point, you should probably know that I’m torn because I want Argo to be a great movie, but I also can never resist a good Ben Affleck joke. 

Then there’s Marissa. She’s a cat enthusiast who has prepared for this by getting a series of healthy snacks, but is also decked out in her finest Pajama Jeans, making her fashionable and comfortable at the same time. Like Bad Shakespeare, she attended this event last year, and is geared up to watch some good movies, and complain about eating too much popcorn about halfway through the fourth movie.

Jerome is here as well, henceforth known as a Source High Within the Theater, mostly because of his penchant to sit as high as possible when he’s picking out the seats. Jerome has tried to remain as unspoiled by the movies as possible, purposely only seeing bad movies as to not accidentally see one of the movies here. Of the nine movies we’re watching today, he’s most looking forward to Star Trek Into Darkness which isn’t coming out until May.

Kim made cookies. KIM MADE COOKIES! Which means you should count her opinions as double from this point on. Of the five viewers today, Kim has seen the most movies in the marathon, but is excited to watch them again. She’s most excited to watch Les Miserables, and has promised to put on a bucket of popcorn on her head and build a barricade down the middle of the theater if even one person’s cell phone goes off during the show. Depending on how tired she is when this part of the show starts, she may do this anyway. Either way it will be exciting.

Kati is a reviewer wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with hot buttered topping and sour patch kids. She has not seen any of these movies, but is looking forward to seeing how long she can make it. She has already vowed to stay as long as she can, but can’t promise she’ll make it all night... fortunately the rest of the group is going to try to get her to stay. However, she will stay longer if perhaps we can win her a movie poster during the trivia contest.

Oh, yeah, there’s a trivia contest.

Make sure you check back for updates. I will post a schedule as soon as I have it.