Bad Shakespeare Takes England: Training with the Royal Shakespeare Company

            Back when I was beautiful, I wanted to be an actor.

            Well, not an actor, per se, but I loved the theatre. Which is why initially ended up on a theatre tour of London that was specifically noted towards undergrads but I figured they’d allow me because I’m so handsome and awesome and why not? But I knew Rick Davis, the leader of our merry band of misfits, from back when I wanted to work with the theatre and be a director. I even continued this trip during my little jaunt down Education Way, when I took some classes in teaching theatre, because, well, I still love theatre in my heart.

            Of course, nothing could prepare me for the announcement that I would be taking classes with the Royal Shakespeare Company.  In Stratford Upon Avon. Mere Steps from where the man himself, Will.I.Am Shakespeare was born and got the inspiration to steal most of this most famous plays.

            (Hey, I’m the biggest bardolator you will find, but let’s remember that good writers write, great writers steal. It’s how we ended up with Fast and the Furious, Tokyo Drift.)

            Needless to say, after the squealing stopped (I found out about it in early December, I still had about a month and some change and that’s a long time to keep squealing like a fangirl at a One Direction concert. Are they still a thing? Zayn was carrying them for a while.) I was ready to get started to train with the Freakin’ RSC. The kings and queens of Shakespeare, the bard himself.

            I was a little bit nervous as I walked up the stairs that took me towards the theatre space where I would be training with them. As mentioned, the last time I was in any type of role that could be considered an actor, I really don’t think the world knew what a “Barack Obama” was just yet, and many of the members of One Direction were just learning to speak and had not yet been thrust into the spotlight.

            Sorry, this Zayn thing has really gotten into my head.

            Anyway, my group was filled with some really talented actors and actresses, and here I was, some guy that wanted to come along to analyze some plays and eat some of the best fish and chips on the planet. (And. They. Were. AWESOME.) But, I sucked it up, partly because I was graded, and partly because, let’s face it, it’s the freakin’ RSC, and how many other opportunities will I get to work with them.

            Once there, the lovely young lady who was leading the group started to talk to us about that night’s play, Love’s Labour’s Won or Much Ado About Nothing. As I refuse to refer to it as both for the rest of this post, I’m going with what the fancy British people told me to call it, and that is Love’s Labor’s Won, and since that’s a pain to keep typing with the whole apostrophe thing, I’m going to start abbreviating as LLW.

            So, the crux of LLW is the fact that it is one of Shakespeare’s most verbally challenging plays. It’s a prose play, which means limited use of iambic pentameter. So, this was going to be a lot of physical and verbal exercises.

            The whole thing started with us getting in a giant circle, and having to introduce ourselves with hand gestures. It helped at this point that we had all been hanging out for a week, so we all pretty much knew each other, but there were a few people who’s names I didn’t quite know and still managed to butcher when I did. (Sorry, Alessandro.) From there we moved on to movement, moving around the circle while saying everyone’s names, from there we started to move while NOT saying anyone’s name and cuing people non-verbally.

            Then we did this really cool exercise with some chairs where we tried to mimic each other as much as possible. It was a fun little trip as we tried to find more and more creative ways to top people, and ended up in a clap off with, once again, Alessandro. This was done because Benedict and Beatrice were constantly trying to one up each other in LLW with their dialogue, and we wanted to a visual cue of it.  It was actually pretty awesome.

            There were a few other exercises, but by the end we were performing scenes using narrators, and limited actors (in which I had a pretty interesting turn as Hero. This was Shakespeare. There were only male actors. I’d like to think I was the prettiest.)

            I’ve always been interested in acting along with the whole “play” thing (in which we capture the conscience of the king…) but this gave me a different understanding for it. All of the games, exercises, and whatever were geared toward better understanding the play we were about to see. And it started small. It started with just a few minutes calling each other’s names, getting to know each other. Because acting is very much a group activity. You have to play with the energy that you’re given. This is something that was very evident in the Scottsboro Boys, and something I’ll talk about when I recap their visit to our classroom. But especially a play like LLW, that lives and dies on the belief that these two characters are falling in love, or that three of these characters have been best friends for a while, or even when a certain Dogberry makes his presence known as the smartest…. Or luckiest guy in the room. These aren’t just random actions. These are cultivated from months of intensive work, from trusting your fellow actors, and from the risk taking that can only be had by making a fool of yourself a little bit.

            I’d like to think I held my own with the talented actors and actresses that allowed me to accompany them on the trip to train with the RSC. But we all have two bucket lists. One we admit to – Hey, I want to drop everything and take a trip to Japan one day… and another one that we don’t think will ever happen, not in our wildest dreams. “Hey, I want to take a trip to Japan and treat Nicolas Cage to a hot sake.” Training with the RSC, even for one day (let alone BEING IN Stratford Upon Avon) was on that second list. The Nicolas Cage list. And I got to do it.

Bad Shakespeare Takes England: Much Ado About Love's Labour's Won!

            So there I was, watching the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford Upon Avon put on Love’s Labour’s Won, more commonly known as Much Ado About Nothing…

            I struggled for a while on how I was going to start this post. Then I realized that the best way to do it was to jump right into it, because, I star Bardolator that I am, who has willingly sat through more Shakespeare productions than I can count, was now sitting in the Bard’s HOMETOWN watching the acting company DEDICATED TO HIS WORK, putting on a performance of my FAVORITE play of the Bard.

            Essentially I was in William Shakespeare Nerd Heaven.

            A quick bit of background that we’ll get into more detail next week (spoilers), but to help you out this week. William Shakespeare was born, grew up, and had a house in Stratford Upon Avon, but his theatre, the Globe, was located in London. Which means he was a commuter, going to London to put on performances and fall in love with Gwyneth Paltrow, but the RSC Theatre was placed in his hometown. So, this was still the closest I was going to get to William Shakespeare without a time machine, and The Doctor and the TARDIS doesn’t seem to be heading my way any time, nor does Doc Brown in his Delorean. Also, something something phone booth Excellent Adventure.

            Also, the big debate: Love’s Labour’s Won vs. Much Ado About Nothing. So, William Shakespeare wrote a comedy called Love’s Labour’s Lost, which is all about several princes that take a manly vow of chastity while deciding to pursue their studies, and naturally they meet the loves of their lives because Shakespeare invented all 1980’s sitcom plots. The story ends, unlike many of his romance/comedies WITHOUT a marriage. So, for a while a lot of people thought that there was a “lost” play in which they returned, more hijinks ensued, and then marriage. Some people thought that Much Ado About Nothing was the sequel, and it got a weird name. Others don’t care, and just want Joss Whedon to do another black and white adaptation.  However, Much Ado About Nothing is sometimes called Love’s Labour’s Won. The RSC, because they’re cool like that, simply paired the two up together and set them during World War 1 because England is acknowledging the 100 year anniversary since World War 1.

            As I’ve mentioned before when I reviewed Joss Whedon’s black and white version, Love’s Labour’s Won tells the story of a group of soldiers returning from War. (in this version. World War 1.)  They settle into the home of the wealthy Leonato, when the young Claudio falls in love with Hero. Don Pedro, Claudio’s… leader? General? It varies. Convinces her to fall in love, and as they pass the time they try to set up Benedict and Beatrice, two former lovers who are at a “merry war” with each other. At some point Don John, the Prince’s brother decides to intervene, but everything gets wrapped up in about half an act or so.

            Quick note: I get some pushback a little bit because I throw in the idea that this is one of his lighter plays, because towards the middle, through Don John’s boredom, he tries to wreck the marriage of Hero and Claudio by tricking him. And it is a pretty rough scene. But I’d like to point out that the whole “Hero is a cheating whore” scene lasts about five minutes, long enough for the Friar to say, “yo, something’s not right.” I stand by my assertion that ultimately, this s a bunch of bored people doing things to alleviate the boredom.  No sword fights, no real stakes, other than the brief mention that Hero and Claudio may not live happily ever after, and hey.. what’s a few brief death threats against friends?

            As I’ve said, this show was set in during World War 1, which I felt added some gravity to the situation. One of the issues with doing Much Ado/Love’s Won is the fact that these are very rich people doing very rich things, and essentially dealing in parties.  The characters are fun, but sometimes they’re difficult to relate, even though in the end, it’s the dumbest, poorest dude that ends up saving the day. No one’s bad behavior is punished… Hero marries Claudio and is waved off as “oops, my bad” and even Don John who’s motivations range from “cause I want to” because “Shakespeare must have been all out of motivations for the day” doesn’t get punished until, as Benedict calls it, “tomorrow.” But setting it during World War 1, these aren’t just rich people, these are soldiers that have seen enough.

            This does help solve the problem I mentioned earlier, too, by making Don John more than just a one-note villain, but by giving him a limp and the indication that he was wounded while the others were spared. The actor playing him was amazing, and brought some depth to a problematic character.

            Of course, no production of Much Ado/Love’s Won could be complete without mentioning Benedict and Beatrice. The love story of Claudio and Hero and their whole plot is pretty much to the side while watching, quite frankly, a very modern war of the words between the two. They nailed it. Because it was World War 1, Beatrice was played as more of a “new woman” being the only woman in the cast to wear pants. But the two actors who played the parts clearly  had clearly fallen into their roles wonderfully, and you got the impression that it was two people that had known each other. I mentioned earlier that they don’t really have sword fighting or a lot of action in this play: these are the scenes that make it up. Loved them in the roles, and I could have watched them spar for hours.

            The only detriment to the entire production, sadly, was one of my favorite scenes. In the play, Don Pedro, Leonato, and Claudio decide to trick Benedict and Beatrice into falling in love. These are typically some of the most comic scenes in the play, with the actors hiding on the stage in plain view, and it being evident to the audience what is going on. In this version, they decided to have Benedict hide early, then mug for the audience while the signature song “Sigh No More” was being played. I’ve heard a ton of versions of this song… jaunty from David Tennant and Catherine Noble.  A jazzier version in Joss  Whedon’s version. I’ve heard it more traditional. I’ve heard it fast, I’ve heard it slow.  And this version when with a slower, more somber version, which is fine. But to have Benedict hide behind the curtain and make faces… that took me out of the play a little bit. Fortunately it was made up later, involving a Christmas Tree.

            So, if I were you, I’d go see this version. What? It’s in Stratford Upon Avon and you CAN’T go see it? That’s where you’re incorrect, my friends. This AND Love’s Labour’s Lost are playing via the Globe Theatre on the Screen project. So, this is playing across the country in the next couple of weeks. So… here’s an early review. Go to your local multiplex and see if it’s playing! Then stick around for that new version of Cinderella. That’s not bad either.

            Next week: Bad Shakespeare TRAINS with Shakespeare!

Bad Shakespeare Takes England: All About Shakespeare!

So, let’s talk about Shakespeare.

The name of this blog is, of course Bad Shakespeare. You read it on the top. I’m a huge fan of the man, and yes, his writings. Yes, they were his writings, despite the various conspiracy theories that continue to persist despite all evidence to the contrary. And I was on a trip that focused on seeing primarily things involved with the theatre. So, we were in the land of Shakespeare, a scant few miles (or kilometers... damn metric system) away from William Shakespeare’s birthplace.... so yeah, I guess we did a few Shakespearean things while we were there.

What do you want to hear about first? The Globe? Shakespeare’s Birthplace? The Royal Shakespeare Company? Stratford Upon Avon? The 45 minute lecture we got from a tour guide about Shakespeare’s Daughter’s house? Anne Hathaway’s Cottage? The many, many jokes about Catwoman we made on the way to Anne Hathway’s Cottage? Bubbles, the Shakespearean Cat? The Royal Shakespeare Company Training session we did? Love’s Labour’s Won? OH, THERE WAS SO MUCH SHAKESPEARE!

Firstly, this won’t be contained in one post. I tend to go over, but I like to keep each post to around 1000 words. When I start to talk about our Shakespeare adventures, it’s probably going to be closer to around 2 billion words. (Conservative estimate.) 

Secondly, it’s my blog so I’m going to start where I darn well please. If you want to choose, then you start a blog, then go to England on a theatre tour with Rick Davis, then you have all these amazing adventures. 

I’m going to start with Shakespeare’s Birthplace. Not Stratford Upon Avon, where he was born, but the actual cottage in which Shakespeare was born. We’ll get to Stratford and it’s killer swans in a future post.

To answer some of your questions... yes. Shakespeare’s birthplace is a very touristy place. I mean, Stratford is nice, and a very quaint little village about two hours away from London. (one if you get the bus driver that took us back at night.) But at first glance, there’s nothing really remarkable about the city itself. It’s a small town, there’s that river next to it, and it has various shops, tourist spots, and swans. Lots and lots of swans. 

But all signs point to this small cottage in the middle of town, surrounded by a museum full of all things Shakespeare. It’s not a big exhibit... the most interesting thing is the original copy of the First Folio that sits in the center of the whole thing. Then there’s various references to just about everything Shakespeare has ever done or given credit to, which includes Hamburger Hamlet, which, if I were running it, would have the slogan, “Our prices are insane... or are they?” 

Once you get through the museum which contains a lot of Shakespearean facts, including stuff about his birth, marriage, the birth (and death) of his kids, the real main event takes you outside, briefly, into the beautiful England weather in December (re: cold and rainy, with the occasional burst of sun) and into this beautiful garden. Or... would be beautiful if it weren’t the winter. I’m guessing. But in the middle of this garden is a path, that leads you to this cottage that’s straight out of 18th century England.

Which make sense. This is the old Shakespeare place. The place. Where he was born.

Now, before I go any further, this is a life goal of mine, to visit the place where the bard was born. I think Rick Davis said it best: you can see Shakespeare’s plays in this place. (Keep in mind that grades have been posted, so I don’t have to suck up quite as much. He’s just that awesome of a person.) And he is right. The big thing that people get wrong when discussing Shakespeare is how could the son of a poor Englishman with no formal schooling be aware of any of the stuff that Shakespeare writes about. The answer is... well, for starters he’s not poor. He was actually kind of wealthy. Shakespeare didn’t have to write for food, he had to write because he was a writer. And the town itself is a character that Shakespeare manages to incorporate into his writings.

But that’s a post for the town. Let’ get back to the house.

Now, the house stands out - there’s old architecture throughout England, but none so old architectury (is that a word? I’m going to let it pass) as this tiny little house. And as with anything, it’s important to remember that Shakespeare was very successful in his time, but hasn’t quite reached the point that he was being studied and worshipped the way that he is today. (Had he known, he probably would have cleared up that whole “is the Ghost real” thing in Hamlet and he probably wouldn’t have written Titus Andronicus. Just throwing that out there.)

No, a lot of the house has been restored as a result of some dude named “Charles Dickens” who decided, “hey... William Shakespeare was pretty famous. Let’s restore his birthplace.” Yes, it’s odd to think that one of England’s most prolific writers was such a fan of another one of England’s most prolific writers that he had to restore his birthplace. So, the house is restored in some ways, so it’s not as if it was perfectly preserved from the first day that William Shakespeare showed up on this Earth and presumably cried his first sonnet.

Quick side note: They had a guest book from one of the first showings of the birthplace. On this is an actual page signed by... You guessed it... Charles Dickens. Mr Christmas Carol Himself!

But the house oozes history and Shakespeare. There are tour guides, as is to be expected with any historical location. What this place has, though, are two actors that sit in one of the rooms upstairs and can perform a scene from any Shakespearean play, on command. ON. COMMAND. So, for instance, we asked for a scene from Love’s Labour’s Won (Or Much Ado About Nothing) to be performed for us... they not only did a scene, but a song from the production. 

One of the debates we had were whether or not the “house shakes with the words of Shakespeare” as Professor Davis put it. I mean, at the end of the day it’s just a house... wood and stone. But for me, it was a spiritual experience. This is a house that birthed one of the greatest writers ever. And I don’t mean just the fact that he was born in the house, as so many people were of his generation. I mean he took his first steps, he developed an interest in writing there. When he decided he was going to be a writer, where was he? When he wrote his first inevitable thing that all writers write that’s silly and we throw it out (mine was about dragons)... what was it? What inspired it? Landmarks are funny... how much do they really influence us? How much do they have a say in how we view a person or a place? In this case, it didn’t really change too much for me... I love Shakespeare for his words and his turn of phrase. But to be able to reach out and be in the same space as the man... it meant a lot to me. It filled me with confidence. It energized me. 

Coming up next week: We review Love’s Labour’s Won... World War 1 Style!

This Halloween, Have a Piece of Pie... On Shakespeare

As mentioned, it’s that scary time of year, and this is the scariest day in all the scariest times of year: Halloween. Whether you’re planing on going out trick or treating, staying in and eating the candy meant for the trick or treaters, or making sure that everyone on your social media feeds know that this “candy” thing contains sugar, and sugar will eventually destroy all life everywhere, it’s important that you enjoy yourself today. (Seriously, though, if you hand out raisins I fully endorse the egging of your house every day until next Halloween.) Also Happy Halloween to all of you who are going to complain about people’s costumes.

Halloween can be a scary day, not just because of the sheer number of takes you’ll see on the “Wrecking Ball” costume or Miley Cyrus Twerking, but because there is a big push on what to do for this day. Do you go out? Do you stay in? What do you dress up as? (Please.... no more “Wrecking Ball” or Miley Cyrus Twerking Parodies... think of the pictures in about two years.) But what’s most important is: What do you watch?

I have an annual tradition of watching my most favorite of all ghost based Bill Murray movies: Ghostbusters. Of course then in about a month I watch my second favorite ghost based Bill Murray movie of all time: Scrooged. Ah, Bill, is there a holiday you CAN’T make a movie out of? 

But what you you literary types out there? The ones who would like to watch a movie, but still maintain an air of knowing that you’re learning something? Bad Shakespeare is here to help! There are a ton of great movies out their based on literature that are perfect for this time of year. Specifically, movies based on the works of the bard! (I was going to do all literature, but my list was mostly Frankenstein and Edgar Allen Poe. Seriously, read up his stuff. The man was insane.) Presented below is a list of the BEST Shakespearean adaptations for Halloween.

First up is Titus Andronicus. No, not the band that transcends genre but is classified as “Punk.” Here we’re talking about one of the first plays written by William Shakespeare, and definitely one of the first tragedies. It’s about a General who’s caught up in a cycle of revenge and honor with the Queen of the Goths.  (It’s got generals, goths, pies... you’ll love it!) This particular version stars Anthony Hopkins and isn’t really set in any time period, but is one of the most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the most violent plays Shakespeare ever wrote, and is probably closer to Saw than it is to what you think of as Shakespeare. This one will give you nightmares.

Next up is the Scottish Play, Macbeth, and I’m including two versions. One is Patrick Stewart’s quite excellent adaptation that moves most of the drama to a war torn country (that’s sort of the standard for William Shakespeare adaptations.) I’m also including an audio version of Alan Cumming one man adaptation, because when he’s not playing Nightcrawler, he can be a disturbing individual. I mean, just listen to it. Anyway, you know what it’s about, blah, blah, blah, witches, blah, blah, blah killing, blah, blah, blah cursed. The whole play itself is cursed. It’s like watching the Ring, only there’s no timeline on when someone is going to drag you down into a well. Or your play flops. I forget what’s supposed to happen here.

Next up: Any version of Othello or Hamlet. Except O. Which was terrible. They actually included a line that said, "I thought Shakespeare wrote movies." Just.... really? And Julie Stiles, you're supposed to be... you know what, I just need a minute. 

       Moving on. You want your horror psychological? How about we drive people mad. Othello is driven mad by his supposed friend, Iago, until he goes on a killing spree that involves killing himself. Iago is one of the rare exceptions to most of Shakespeare’s works in that one of the major villains meets his fate by being arrested, not by meeting the business end of a blade, or poison. He almost gets away with it! Hamlet is driven mad by himself, and possibly ghosts. But mostly himself. I’m throwing the Kenneth Branagh versions of both, because he did a good job. And plus, one of them has Neo in it. Neo, people. Neo.

Finally, Much Ado About Nothing. Why am I including a comedy on this list? Think about how absolutely disturbing this movie is. Yes, there’s the lighthearted romantic comedy between Beatrice and Benedict... oh, young love. They’ll get together, right? Yes, they will, after she asked Benedict to kill his best friend. Why? Because he’s so quick to anger that he throws away his true love once he sees her “cheating”. In a plot that is put together for no real reason or motive. Then when the plot is uncovered, does everyone laugh? No, no they fake Hero’s death. They make the young lover think that the love of his life kills herself. Seriously, people, this is some messed up The Game type stuff going around here. Yes, it ends happy because Shakespeare didn’t feel like having anyone eaten off stage by a bear. People are crazy.

Enjoy your Halloween, everybody!

Romeo and Juliet: This is Not the Moral You Were Looking For...

Romeo and Juliet is perhaps one of the most adapted of Shakespeare’s plays. It’s also probably one of the more well known, too. If saying the word “Shakespeare” doesn’t envision a dude in tights talking to a skull, chances are you envision Romeo looking up at his Juliet from her balcony. Or you're envisioning a lot of dead people with beards, which is darker, and not relevant to this post.

For those of you who don’t know what Romeo and Juliet is about, then... really? Do I really have to recap the plot of Romeo and Juliet to you? Do you really not know? Or do you want me to do it for amusement? Fine...

The Montagues and the Capulets are fighting like the Sharks and Jets all through Verona, basically trying to kill each other. The Prince finally has enough and tells them to cut it out, he doesn't care who started it, if it keeps happening he'll be the one to end it. (Also, neither family knew who started it. That's important when analyzing the play intelligently, rather than just saying that two teenagers killed themselves for a three day love story. But I'll get to that.) Then Romeo, attempting to catch a glimpse of Rosaline (from the house of Capulet, which begs the question of whether he was romantic or begging for trouble) instead views Juliet, and they fall in love at first sight despite the fact that their parents hate each other (and her arranged marriage to someone else. All minor details when you’re a teenager in love). Later, they both go the world’s worst Friar to get secretly married. Then, enraged that he would dare set foot in a Capulet house, Tybalt (Juliet’s cousin) threatens Romeo and kills Mercutio (The Prince’s cousin... you know, the guy who at the start of the play didn’t want any more killing?). Romeo responds by promptly killing Tybalt, and being banished forever. Finally, through a series of hilarious misunderstandings, both Romeo and Juliet end up committing suicide. Oh, and Romeo kills count Paris on his way to kill himself because not enough people died up until this point. 

(In Shakespeare times it was very important enough people died to differentiate between comedy and tragedy. Remember, Shakespeare once killed a guy offstage by having him eaten by a bear because he couldn’t decide if it was going to be a comedy or a tragedy. Spoiler: It ended up being a comedy.)

So, there are two ways to go from this point on: Talk about the play in general and the famous little internet meme going around, or talk about the movie. I’m going to talk about the movie first.

I enjoyed it. I know they didn’t use ALL of Shakespeare’s words. No one does, all the time. (The most notable times when all the dialogue was used was when Kenneth Branagh directed Hamlet and Thor. Feel free to fact check that second part.) Even Joss Whedon, in an adaptation that I enjoyed immensely, changed a few lines of dialogue (and a gender) in Much Ado about Nothing.  

What this version of Romeo and Juliet really captured, in addition to the age appropriate casting, (A feat not seen since High School Musical riffed this plot.) was the fact that the whole Romeo and Juliet romance is secondary to the main plot of the play.

Ah, the collective sound of gasping. I love saying things that do that.

Ben Affleck will be a good Batman.

Sorry, that has nothing to do with Romeo and Juliet, I just wanted to hear the gasping again. Moving on.

Romeo and Juliet gets a wrap of being just a love story about two teenagers with a huge age difference that get all over-dramatic and then kill themselves. What’s missed in that oversimplified version of the plot is WHY they kill themselves. (Beyond the hilarious misunderstanding of the world’s worst friar. Seriously, he sucks at his job. Big time.) But it’s more than that. The play itself is about two families that hate each other to the point that their kids - who really have no stake in the feud - end up killing themselves because telling their parents that they're in love is a fate worse than death. Literally What’s important in this play is what is NOT said. At no time are we given any exposition as to why the Capulets hate the Montagues. They just do. And they’re willing to kill over it. Remember: Tybalt threatens to kill Romeo over the fact that he set foot in the house hold. (If he’s mad about feet and houses, imagine... naw, that one is too easy.) Romeo refuses to do it because Tybalt is now family. (Ultimately, it’s the Prince who pays the price for that one.) 

This version really seems to nail that. From the get-go, the focus is on the families, not just the doomed lovers. Because of the title, many go straight to the love plot of this play, but in the end, what’s shown is the destructive power of this feud. Loved ones dead... notably the younger people who are the most removed from the feud, and two people who had nothing to do with the feud, and were just in the wrong place or friends with the wrong people. (There’s a nice balance in the number of people who end up dead. Or as nice as it can be when you think about the fact that we’re talking about teenagers dying for a feud.) 

I also enjoyed that this version focused so much on the action in the play... this is a very actiony (is that a word? I’m going to use it as a word) play. First of all, there’s the short timeframe, there’s the fact that it starts with violence, much of the climax is involves violence, and then one more person dies because hey why not, and this version manages to focus on it.

I wish it ultimately had used more of Shakespeare’s original dialogue, mostly because it gets so many other things right about the play, as I just noted. It’s a little distracting at first, but it’s not so distracting as to take away from the moral of the original play (senseless fighting is senseless.) It’s just really more streamlined. Think of it as the Sparksnote version of the play, managing to highlight what’s important without losing casual viewers.

One big advantage to writing a review now is that most of the professional critics have had their say. Yes, I know this didn’t get good reviews. I don’t particularly care for “reviews” from people who have to see so many movies they’ve forgotten what good movies are about. I think it’s important to focus on what works, particularly with a Shakespearean adaptation such as this one which keeps in the good, and is an excellent jumping off point to the original text. 

Whedon Be Praised! Another Successful Movie Season!

Every movie I’ve seen this Summer movie Season, laid end to end, with the exception of one. I’m missing the ticket from my second viewing of Man of Steel. If you find it, please contact me.

Sadly, Summer Movie Season has come to a crashing close with Getaway. I did not see it, (yet) but young Disney Starlet Selena Gomez playing a carjacker as Ethan Hawke, Race Car Driver follows the instructions of a personless voice to save his wife practically screams, “GET TO A MOVIE THEATER NOW”. It also screams that it’s the exact opposite of Iron Man 3 in that it will lack some of the “pew-pew explosion pow” that makes it a true Summer Blockbuster. No, I ended the summer with a spectacular friend (it’s the same friend as Mortal Instruments, so I need to come up with new superlatives each time) accompanying me to Closed Circuit, which was actually a decent movie. That starred Rebecca Hall, same as Iron Man 3! Hey, the loops been closed! (It also starred Eric Bana, and I feel I deserve a prize for never once leaning over to my friend and saying, “oooh.. .he’s getting angry in this scene... you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.)

Summer Movie Season, the bookends. Considerably less men in Iron Suits in last one, but the first one had WAY less wigs worn by lawyers.

Overall, I went to the movie theater 28 separate times this summer. Of course, the number of movies I’ve seen all depends on your math of it all. While I have 28 tickets, I saw six movies twice: Pacific Rim, Star Trek, Man of Steel, Mortal Instruments, and Iron Man 3. Why see them twice? Because they were awesome. Particularly Pacific Rim, which had the dual appeal of giant fighting robots, Charlie Day playing a scientist, AND Idris Elba yelling cool things about stopping the Apocalypse. I swear, I’d watch a movie that was just him screaming things at people. Which was most of this movie. So I guess I did! Twice! Score!

See how sad the one Man of Steel Ticket is without his brother? Also, the size difference between the two theater tickets for some reason?

The Math is further complicated by this little gem: The Cornetto Trilogy! All three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End, three fantastic movies on one glorious ticket. And lanyard. And T-Shirt. Unlike some OTHER people that went to a marathon and didn’t get a ticket. (I’m like 90% sure he doesn’t read this blog, so that line may be for naught. But it made me feel better.) The first two were released years ago, and you’ll remember I watched them in the “Thanks Mum” Marathon over July 4th, but watching them in a theater full of... well, people like me... made it that much more worth it. There was line quoting, there were standing ovations, there was a lot of nerd rage at the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman (more on that next week)... but it was an experience. Honestly, one of the best experiences I had this summer at the movies. 

                                                                        I get a lanyard, I get a lanyard...

So.... I’m sure the question you’re asking yourself right now, other than when is he going to show off that sweet shirt, is why do I do it? Why do I go to the movies this many times... 28 times is more than there weeks in summer meaning I doubled up some weeks (Hell, I doubled up some days... swearing again to generate more controversy. Is it working? Do I have to twerk yet?) and more buttered popcorn than it’s probably safe to smell, much less consume? 

I love movies. I love bad ones. I love good ones. I love ones that make you think. I love that for two hours I get to get lost in the world of someone else. I get to get lost in a world that doesn’t exist here. Plus, I get something out of it. Its weird and cliche, but I do learn a little something out of each one, even if it’s that Tatum Channing is funny. Sometimes, it’s deeper than that, like with The World’s End, which was a hilarious movie in it’s own right, but it also had a deeper meaning that I took away, and I want to go watch again. 

There’s also the shared experience. Some people have told me, “hey... don’t go to the movies with someone. Don’t sit in the dark for two hours, you’ll get nothing out of it!” Do them I say boo! BOO, I say! That was redundant. But movies allow you to share a world with a friend. Indeed, I had three friends that accompanied me to the movies this summer (well... we went TOGETHER... but it’s my blog, so it’s my narrative) and I have fun quoting the movies with them, leaning over and making some joke (I’m still ashamed I didn’t make the Hulk joke at the last movie) or sharing that moment that made the movie worthwhile, even if it was the fact that the movie was terrible and we’ll never mention it again, ever. (It was great that they only made two Hangovers, right?)

Anyway, as a way of wrapping up and appeasing the God of Movies, Joss Whedon, I present to you my Summer Movie Season in a Nutshell. 

In Memoriam: The movies I didn’t get to see because they were gone that quickly. We’ll miss you, RIPD (aka Men in Black with Ghosts.) The Lone Ranger could also be described as the only person in the theater, watching you. And Independence Day 2 is looking a lot better to Will Smith right now. But I’ll catch you all on DVD... I’m sorry I don’t have a movie stub for you.

Biggest Surprise: This one is a twofold... The first was that the Great Gatsby was so good. Look, I’m a literature guy, so I was bound to see it. I was surprised by how much I wanted to KEEP watching it, repeatedly. Honestly, had I not seen the last showing, I’d probably go back right away. 

The second big surprise is how much the Hangover 3 suuuuuuuuuccccckkked. Worst movie of the summer, and this is coming from someone who says that John Goodman makes everything better. But they took a funny premise and it was clear that most of the co-stars were just sort of coasting. 

Worst Use of an Accent: Jodi Foster in Elysium. Still not sure what she was supposed to be, actually. Elysium wins a second award this summer for Worst Allegory, which didn’t even try to hide it’s message in the story or the plot, just sort of... told everyone what it was thinking. Which isn’t bad, it was just... disappointing. (90% sure not reading friend, who loved it would disagree.) 

Held Up Their End of the Bargain: I was looking forward to two movies this summer above all others: Man of Steel and Much Ado About Nothing. You know what I wasn’t disappointed in this summer? Man of Steel and Much Ado About Nothing. Loved’em. Can’t even think of something funny to say. Wuzzle Wuzzle? There. That’s you’re funny saying for this post.

Best “Bad” Movie of the Summer: I was surprised more people didn’t enjoy the Olympus has Fallen 2: Die Harder, but I loved it. It was an excellent cheesy throwback to buddy action movies, just one of the buddies happened to be the President, and the other one happened to look better in a while tank top. But the hostages, the betrayal, the James Woods, the action... I think history will be kinder to it. Of course, the Irishman managed to do the same thing without help from the President, so I’m not sure what message it’s sending to our children.

Favorite Movie of the Summer: This... this is something I always play out in my head. This is the moment I look forward to, thinking back and trying to pick out my favorite movie. The thing is I can’t pick based on the movie itself. I just can’t, because of what I mentioned: I don’t just enjoy the movie, it’s the experience. So with that note, I have to go with...

The World’s End.

Hands down, a great movie. The third part of a loose trilogy, so I was saying goodbye (sorta) friends, but I also managed to share it in a setting that will probably never be replicated. It wasn’t just the best movie of the summer, but it was one of my favorite experiences of the summer.

So, that’s it. Say a closing prayer to Joss Whedon. We’re headed into Prestige Season, which means many of these movies will be part of the Oscar Movie Marathon, which I will be part of next year, and then of course the post-January Movie Dumping Ground Season, which produces some of the finest films worthy of the name Nicolas Cage.

I look forward to doing this again next year, Whedon be Prasied!